Important Notice – March 2020
Dear workshop participants:
In response to current public health concerns regarding the spread of the COVID 19 virus, and to protect the health of you our valued workshop participants, as well as ourselves and our families and communities, Owen and I decided to postpone our April 4-5, 2020, Hold Me Tight® couples workshop to a later date (to be determined).
We are so very sad to do that. The workshop was sold-out, and we were so looking forward to meet all of you.
The gratitude and awe I feel every time we hold those workshops, and seeing the transformation that happens with couples during the weekend, inspire and move me in so many ways. It is that inspiration, believing in change and in connection, and trusting that we will all cope and manage this tough times, that is helping me make that decision.
Owen and I are trying to come up with an online version of the workshop, or at least a segment of it, and we will be offering it to all of you as soon as we can. In the meantime, we are both available for any questions, concern, or other inquiries.
Owen’s Phone: 208.265.8440
Dalia’s Phone: 530.218.2721
Take care, stay safe, and we will meet soon.
Dalia and Owen
Experience this ground-breaking work to renew trust and intimacy within your relationship, deepen your emotional connection and closeness with one another and create a secure base for both people to flourish.
Move out of negative cycles that keep you feeling stuck and alone
Make sense of your own as well as your partner’s emotions
Forgive injuries that keep you from really opening up with your partner
Communicate your emotional needs for connection
Establish a secure and intimate bond for one another
Restore commitment and hope
Decrease isolation, distance and loneliness
Learn to manage intense and negative emotion
Rebuild safety and trust (where there has been trauma)
Manage the sense of chaos (where there has been betrayal)
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
The message of EFT is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, recognize and admit that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection. EFT focuses on creating and strengthening this emotional bond by identifying and transforming the key moments that foster an adult loving relationship.
EFT has an astounding 70 – 75% success rate and results have been shown to last, even in the face of significant stress. It is recognized by the American Psychological Association as empirically proven.
Hold Me Tight
Hold Me Tight the book presents a streamlined version of EFT. It walks the reader through seven conversations that capture the defining moments in a love relationship and instructs how to shape these moments to create a secure and lasting bond. Case histories and exercises in each conversation bring the lessons of EFT to life.
Seven Transforming Conversations:
Recognizing Demon Dialogues
In this first conversation, couples identify negative and destructive remarks in order to get to the root of the problem and figure out what each other is really trying to say.
Finding the Raw Spots
Here, each partner learns to look beyond immediate, impulsive reactions to figure out what raw spots are being hit.
Revisiting a Rocky Moment
This conversation provides a platform for de-escalating conflict and repairing rifts in a relationship and building emotional safety.
Hold Me Tight
The heart of the program: this conversation moves partners into being more accessible, emotionally responsive, and deeply engaged with each other.
Injuries may be forgiven but they never disappear. Instead, they need to become integrated into couples’ conversations as demonstrations of renewal and connection. Knowing how to find and offer forgiveness empowers couples to strengthen their bond.
Bonding Through Sex and Touch
Here, couples find how emotional connection creates great sex, and good sex creates deeper emotional connection.
Keeping Your Love Alive
This last conversation is built on the understanding that love is a continual process of losing and finding emotional connection; it asks couples to be deliberate and mindful about maintaining connection.”
What Leading Relationship Experts and Authors say about Hold Me Tight:
Wonderful… Hold Me Tight® Workshops blends the best in research findings with practical suggestions from a caring and compassionate clinician. Hold Me Tight® will be of great benefit to couples trying to find their way to better communication and deeper, more fulfilling ways of being with each other. Bravo!Daniel J Siegel, MD, author of Parenting from the Inside Out
At last a road map through Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with its creator. Dr. Johnson’s superb science, humor, and clinical wisdom are finally accessible to all of us. I couldn’t pick a smarter, warmer and more real guide for this journey.John Gottman, PhD, bestselling author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and co-author of And Baby Makes Three
Dr. Sue Johnson is the most original contributor to couples therapy to come along in the last thirty years. This book will touch your heart, stimulate your mind and give you practical strategies for improving your relationship.William J. Doherty, PhD, author of Take Back Your Marriage
A much-needed message to all couples and therapists, and I recommend it to allHarville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want
Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops
Dr. Sue Johnson developed the Hold Me Tight® program, based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and her bestselling book, Hold Me Tight.
In this workshop, we will teach you how to connect in a more powerful and harmonious way. This weekend will be Positive, Pro-active and Fun! And the skills you learn will continue to serve your relationship once you leave the workshop.
We keep the workshop small and intimate to ensure value and enhance the experience. We welcome people of all backgrounds, ages, faiths and sexual orientations.
Our Hold Me Tight® couples workshops are always Sold-Out!
What is Included
• A workbook full of information, guidance and helpful exercises.
• Engaging presentations, video demonstrations of other real life couples, and the opportunity for many private exercises and conversations with your partner.
• Personal support and guidance as needed.
• Continental breakfast, coffee, tea and light snacks will be provided throughout the day. Lunch is on your own. Please feel free to bring your own snacks and drinks as well. (We are located in Nevada City near cafes, a deli and a grocery store.)
• Post-workshop complementary followup support.
What to Expect
The Hold Me Tight® Workshop is designed around seven conversations based on the Hold Me Tight book, all of which have been shown to be essential to successful relationships. You will learn how to understand and improve your relationship with presentations by the workshop leaders, private exercises and conversations with your partner and by watching video demonstrations of other couples.
Although Dalia encourages questions and comments, you do not need to speak in the group if you do not wish to. All of the dialogues with your partner will be done in private, as privacy, confidentiality and comfort are of upmost importance.
You will learn to identify the “dance” that has kept you locked in anger and isolation and learn to change the steps that are keeping you both from getting your attachment needs met. You will find the safety to be vulnerable, soften and open to giving and receiving care from each other. You will tap into your deeper needs and longings and learn to communicate them and respond to them in each other.
Dalia Anderman, LMFT is a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Northern California with offices in Nevada City and Sacramento.
Dalia has over 20 years of experience working with individuals, couples, and families on a wide range of issues.
Over the past 10 years, Dalia’s primary clinical modality has been Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). She has had advance training in EFT including attending many trainings by Sue Johnson, the creator of EFT.
Dalia’s passion lies in the map and tools that this attachment-based system has given us to help couples discover that the secret to their relationship is not in the solving of the ‘argument of the day’ but in understanding the longing and desperation when our connection to our loved ones is severed. She has helped numerous couples find their way back to connection, intimacy, vulnerability, and sexual desire.
Dalia has been leading, teaching, and facilitating the Hold Me Tight® couples workshop program nationally and internationally for over 5 years including in Israel, South Africa, and around the United States.
Keeping the Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop group small, Dalia developed an intimate and experiential format to the workshop, allowing couples to dive deeper into their relationship.
Though working with couples is her main passion and focus, Dalia is also fully trained and specializes in EMDR, CBT, Family Systems, trauma, addiction, parenting, sexual and intimacy issues, and life’s transitions. She is also on the Mental Health medical team at Burning Man.
Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator, and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, will once again be joining us.
Owen brings with him decades of leading and facilitating men’s groups all over the country and teaching men how access their masculine vulnerability. He developed a new model for men’s groups and coaching based in his work with men over 25 years. He saw that the struggle is not that men are screwed up, it’s that they were never trained how to succeed emotionally. Their relationships and careers suffer because mens’ emotions are anything but their superpower. Owen’s approach is to facilitate deep change quickly and have it continue to develop.
His book Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence lays out how a man can develop any of the nine stages he may never have an opportunity to cultivate. His leadership trainings for men and businesses transform emotional limitation into relationship mastery.
His work with couples comes from teaching himself that to have a nourishing relationship we need to connect and to connect we need to open up. For many of us, we were never given good models let alone tools on how to do these simple tasks.
As a co-founder of Evryman, he develops and leads trainings throughout the world that give men a safe place to learn the skills that were not taught to them. He believes men can flourish in all their relationships—and there are thousands of men who would agree.
What Participants are Saying…
We were co-existing in a sexless, flat, hopeless marriage, where we couldn’t get out of that stuck place. We did not know how to connect and how to get unstuck. Lots of years of buildup resentments and rejections. We decided to try the Hold Me Tight workshop after reading the book. Maybe we can get help figuring it out. It was truly an amazing experience. We began to understand that our cycle of disconnect goes way back and that we stop being open to each other about our fears and our longings. We are like newly weds. seriously.
Dalia’s style is bar none. As a therapist attending the workshop I felt completely safe to take off my own therapist hat and just be a partner in my relationship. She augments the workshop materials with amazing insights. Most of all she models authenticity and vulnerability. The safety one feels makes it easy to do the work.
Dalia and Owen are an incredible team. I love how they keep it real and seeing that we all have issues. This is by far the best program we have ever attended. We highly recommend this to every couple even if you think your marriage is perfect.
I signed my husband and myself up for this workshop feeling like it was our last resort. Instead I feel like it opened doors and broke down walls that we had up for years. I now have so much hope for our future!
"...I wanted to reach out and thank you both for holding the workshop with us this past weekend. It really changed the way in which I view and interact with my partner and I couldn't be more grateful ... It means a lot that you're willing to learn and grow together with us, not in a power-over dynamic, but in an interactive way... Thank you for doing what you do, from holding the space for us to be vulnerable with each other, to treating us to the opportunity to laugh and learn and grow and grieve.
I wanted to share something of a synchronicity I experienced in my own life. I went home last weekend to visit my parents for Memorial Day, and was able to apply aspects of what I had learned to my own relationships with them, listening to their struggles and allowing myself to be vulnerable. I thought it would be hokie, but the results were spectacular. Here is a text message my father sent me this morning:
`Again i want to thank you for taking the time to come and visit with us.
Hope your stay was pleasant and comfortable.
We enjoyed your company more than you can imagine.
You're a very special person and you light up a room with your presence.
People are drawn to you and you only need to look in the mirror to see how wonderful you are.
I may seem like an angry bird but inside I'm just looking to make things better for those around me.
Sometimes more difficult than you might think.
Please focus on the positive and look to the things that give you the joy we need to continue moving forward. Job/Partner /Family/Future
Never in my life has my father been so candid with me. Never before has he opened up like that. I was shocked. It sounds like a different person. All because I allowed myself to be present with him. To thank him for noticing and accepting my partner. To be me with all my own fears and insecurities. He could have closed up and backed off, but he didn't. When I opened up and let myself be grateful, vulnerable, and human, he did the same.
It's almost miraculous."
Nevada City, California
Date: April 4-5, 2020.
Price: $895 per couple ($795 before 3/4/20)
Download PDF Flyer – Jan 2020
If you have any trouble registering via this form, call 530-692-0680.
Your registration fee is non-refundable, but transferable. Once registered, if unforeseen circumstances prevent you from attending the Hold Me Tight® Workshop you registered for, you are welcome to attend another workshop within that calendar year instead. However, if you cancel within 72 hours or fail to show up for the workshop, there will be a $75 transfer fee applied. All workshops are enrolled on a first come, first serve basis.
Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark to Sue Johnson.