Are you longing for Love and Connection, but instead…
Have recurring fights with no resolution?
Feel disrespected, nagged or criticized?
Lack affection, intimacy or sex?
Feel distant, unimportant or unloved?
Feel suspicious or betrayed?
Experience isolation and loneliness?
Would you like to…
Move out of negative cycles that keep you feeling stuck and alone.
Make sense of your own as well as your partner’s emotions?
Forgive injuries that keep you from really opening up with your partner?
Communicate your emotional needs for connection?
Establish a secure and intimate bond with one another?
Decrease conflict and find a way out of the negative cycles you seem to get stuck?
Couples Therapy is a journey that can help
From alienation to emotional connection.
From defense and self-protection, to openness and risk taking.
From a passive helplessness in the face of the inexorable dance of the relationship, to a sense of being able to actively create that dance.
From desperate blaming of the other, to a sense of how each partner makes it difficult for the other to be responsive and caring.
From a focus on the other’s flaws, to the discovery of one’s own fears and longings.
Most of all, Couples Therapy can help you move
from Isolation to Connectedness.
How Emotionally Focused Therapy
You will learn to identify the “dance” that has kept you locked in anger and isolation and learn to change the steps that are keeping you both from getting your attachment needs met. You will find the safety to be vulnerable, soften and open to giving and receiving care from each other. You will tap into your deeper needs and longings and learn to communicate them and respond to them in each other.
Through therapy you will learn to re-set your way of being with each other so that when difficult times come along you can use them to grow and deepen your relationship.
You will be able to feel safe and secure in your relationship and able to tune in to early signs of relapse and distance.
You will have the MAP, new tools and new dance steps that will bring you back and reset you even when you hit a hard spot.
You will be able to return again and again to the conversations of Hold Me Tight and be able to find the way back to each other.
Divorce or separation doesn’t have to have an unhappy ending. Sometimes a relationship has run its course and a new paradigm is called for. I can help you create a new healthier and loving relationship that navigates separation or divorce in an amicable manner.
Is it too late?
Over the years, I have been asked by many if couples counseling can really help everyone. Many also ask if there is a time when the relationship is “just over.” Here is what I tell my clients when asked these questions.
not too many people regret trying and committing to counseling and therapy to working on their relationships, but many do regret not ever trying.
If after therapy you decide to end your relationship, you will know both that you tried and your increased ability to show up in relationship with the tools, insights and work you have done will be a gift to all with whom you connect.
What it’s like to work with me.
In therapy, we will be co-creating a safe place, where there is room for any and all vulnerable feelings, beliefs, and thoughts to emerge.
I work in a no-shame no-blame zone of ongoing support and warm curiosity. Together we will learn about patterns, triggers, negative thoughts and cycles, feelings, past and present attachment injuries, and how they affect the relationship.
We will evaluate and examine stories, beliefs, and behaviors that shape the way you see yourself your partner, your relationship, and your world.
We will integrate tools and exercises that will allow you to know even more about yourself so you can begin to choose how you respond in any given situation.
You will learn to exercise validation; empathy, understanding, curiosity, appreciation, insight, and good communication, to help yourself and each other arrive where you have been longing to for a long time.
Dear Dalia, to make a long story short, you saved our marriage. We are very grateful.
My husband didn’t want to come to the sessions but after noticing changes in our marriage-dynamics, he doesn’t want to stop. Thank you!