Dear Readers,
Those of you that know me know that traveling has been a lifelong passion of mine. I have always felt curious about the world around me, and especially what lies beyond the usual boundaries of my world. Even when it is challenging and involves pushing my physical or psychological limits, I’ve pushed myself to expand both my abilities and horizons.
Not all those who wander are lost. J.R.R. Tolkien
As a teenager, I would go exploring, taking walks or hikes out in nature or taking the but so somewhere new for an adventure. What began as a way to get away from the chaos at home developed into a sense of wonder & wanderlust.
In my early 20’s, when I finished my military service in Israel, I packed a small backpack and booked a flight to Amsterdam to begin my exploration of Europe. Little did I know, that trip would start me on a decades long journey traveling through many countries and eventually making my home in the United States. I still travel frequently.
While becoming a psychotherapist, a mentor of mine pointed out to me that the word relationship is made up of two words: “Relation” and “Ship” which translate to “How are we relating and where is this ship going.” It became my professional passion to help guide couples as they navigate these two realms.
As a therapist, I work with couples who get stuck. One way to look at my work is helping couples move through their stuck-ness. And what better way is there to get unstuck than to change the scenery and get a new perspective?
Although we take ourselves wherever we go, travel of any proportion is an opportunity to leave some of the known behind to reset our perspective, and embark on a discovery of ourselves and our partner through new eyes against a different backdrop.
Couples tell me over and over that although they still love each other, they have gotten so wrapped up in family, kids, professional demands, bills and finances, and other obligations that they have forgotten what it is like to be a romantic, intimate, and sexual couple.
That is a normal response to the complexities of modern life, but if we do not take time to nurture and nourish our relation-ship, we start to feel distanced and disconnected. Many couples can begin to feel as if they are just roommates and co-parents while longing for that intimate, sexual, romantic, and vulnerable bond.
For many couples I work with, it is hard to find the mood, space, and excitement, for the intimacy, and sexuality, they are missing in their relationship. One of them told me recently that for them, the word ‘hotel’.. is an aphrodisiac.. they go away to a weekend in a hotel, so they can reignite the erotic sexuality they once celebrated in their connection. Being in a new environment, with no interruption, and the space to explore and not be in a hurry, gives them the time and space they needed to find intimacy again.
Although travel itself can be stressful, taking time away to reconnect is essential. It can be a weekend way in a beautiful place, a long weekend hiking, or a longer “real vacation” to reignite the magic and connection in the relationship.
The idea for this post goes back to March, when in one of my many travel mailing lists, I read an article titled Can Travel Cure a Broken Heart by Jessica Burrell on CNTraveler.com.
“…travel doesn’t necessarily mean we’re running away from our problems. “Broadly speaking, travel can be a very helpful way of processing heartbreak.” [where] “we oscillate between confronting and avoiding the loss, which is actually really healthy at the end of a relationship.”
Jessica Burrell quoting Dr Theresa Schwaiger, a clinical psychologist at London-based The Soke.
“There is no ‘cure’ for heartbreak, and travel cannot magically erase the pain.” But it can help us get out there and explore our complex interior life against a shifting external world, allowing us to process our emotions in a context that differs from the everyday.
Jessica Burrell quoting Chance Marshall, co-founder of mental health service Self Space.
And for those of you in need of inspiration and who want to take an adventure while holding space for your relationship, come join us in beautiful Costa Rica with your love one at our Valentines ’25 Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat hosted by the Imiloa Institute.
Imagine, its Valentine Day 2025, and you’re at a couples retreat that is luxurious in a different kind of way, not posh, but authentic, and rich with care, attention to every details, locally sourced, and in the midst of the lush, nurturing Costa Rican jungle. A perfect setting to reignite, upgrade, and repair your relationships.
Facilitating this retreat alongside myself will be Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator, co-founder of EVRYMAN, and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence. (Owen’s TEDX talk)
With a rich background in leading men’s groups and trainings across the country, Owen specializes in guiding men to embrace vulnerability. His expertise extends to working with couples, and he has shared his methods with a diverse audience, including therapists, NGOs, and major tech firms like Google. Owen’s deep experience and innovative approach, honed through co-founding EVRYMAN and now co-leading his latest venture, MELD, promises to significantly enrich the dynamics of the workshop.
This retreat will be packed with educational information and presentations including experiential exercises, communication skills, somatic practices, gender groups, fun activities and much more. Processing is done in the privacy of your relationship, and when we connect as a group, sharing is optional. This is a great opportunity to have a deeper and vulnerable look at your relationship.
Participants will learn how to:
- Affirm strengths in the relationship through understanding, communication, and bonding.
- Address negative cycle patterns, and learn why they show up, and how to get out of them.
- Learn how to repair and forgive injuries, and become vulnerable with each other.
- Enhance emotional, physical, and sexual closeness and intimacy.
Valentines ’25 in Costa Rica
Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat
We keep our workshops small to ensure privacy, safety, and personal attention.
Space is limited. We welcome all couples!!
(Please FORWARD to anyone you think will benefit from this work.)
In gratitude and love to all of you,
~Dalia
Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson, founder and originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy.