SPRING has arrived!
I’m a couples therapist and my lens is.. well.. kind of skewed, so when spring arrives I sense its effect on myself, my loved-ones and of course in the therapy room.
It’s mating time, and with it comes: “Am I the One for You?”.
In a recent VERY long international flight — when I exhausted all the movies and books and notes, and there were still 7 hours of flights to come– I opened the on-flight magazine and found an ad for a company called “It’s Just Lunch” for business people too busy to do their own ‘online dating’ or mate-finding. For what seems like a high fee this agency will arrange for you everything you need for finding that ‘SPECIAL ONE’.
I wondered how my ‘Yente’ great-grandmothers in the villages of Eastern Europe will label ‘match making’ adventures in the era of computers helping you find a match..
Nowadays you do not need a match maker, or a costly agency, you can ‘do it yourself’ using ONLINE DATING.
BUT beware! Online dating is not for the faint of heart…
According to a recent study more than a third of marriages between 2005 and 2012 began online, and the research also said that these marriages tend to be happier and longer than marriages of couples who met in more traditional ways.
There are online dating sites for everyone and there are some GOOD RULES about online dating:
Your PROFILE is important, so put some efforts into reflecting who you are. Those efforts will bring results! USE A FRIEND TO HELP YOU — most of us are a bit shy to ‘sell’ ourselves. You can be serious, funny, deep, clever, witty, don’t be afraid, there is nothing to lose. You can even be vulnerable BUT not too much disclosure! TMI (too much information): like window shopping you want to be attractive, but keep the looker intrigued enough to step in..
PICTURES: Be current! Do not add a photo of yourself as a teenager. There is nothing more discouraging then the look on the face of a potential partner when they.. or you.. realize that 20 or more years have passed since that photo was taken. No need to add your truck or your dog or your aunt Bertie with you in the picture! Most of the pics may have a tropical landscape in the background, after all it is on vacations when we zip that iphone out…
FIRST DATE: Meet in a coffee shop, and be clear that it’s only a coffee. You can always move to dinner if both of you wish, but don’t get stuck on a long planned day where you both, (or either one of you), can not wait for it to end. BE SAFE.
FAST FORWARD TO 2014: I’m an online dating veteran with hundreds of virtual and dozens of in-person exchanges under my belt. And I’m not the only one. According to the Pew Research Center, 11 percent of all Americans who use the Internet have used an online dating site, and that number jumps to 38 percent among people who are single and looking. To say that online dating is widely pervasive is an understatement!!
Enough said… GOOD LUCK and IF you need help…call me…