Deal Breaker or Game Changer?

Dear friends,

How are YOU doing? Really!! Not in the way we say it without really expecting an answer. It is SO important to check-in with your tribe, family, people, and loved ones. We are all in this together. So if you want, please send me an email and tell me how you are doing. I respond to all my mail!!

One day it will all be a story to tell. But for now, we are still in the midst of the most surreal times that I remember in my life. Growing up in Israel, I experienced many wars, with dangerous, uncertain, and scary times, however since the Covid19 pandemic, I have been feeling all of that and so much more.

We are all trying to “sheltering in place” as best we can, while also working, exercising, supporting our local economy, and caring for loved ones.

Some parts of the world are slowly opening up while taking careful measures, lifting some of the restrictions on movement and socializing while paying attention to maintaining safety and care. We hold our breath as we go back to “normal”.

I love this quote by Sonya Renee Taylor about “not going back to normal“..as “Normal never was.”

During these Covid19 times I have been extremely busy with tele-health online therapy. At first I was not sure how to move from seeing clients in the intimacy of my office to sitting with them on the other side of a computer screen. But surprisingly, I was able to transition fairly well and get a handle on the technology that was at first intimidating and strange.

I was grateful that I was able to help clients work through this period of isolation, anxiety, fear and the scary unknown.

Most of us, have been needing to adjust to a new reality. Many are struggling with a lot of stress. The loss of jobs, economic uncertainty, health issues, and not being able to be with or care for family member have put a strain on all of us.

Few years ago I wrote a blog about infidelity titled Infidelity – a Deal Breaker – or – a Game Changer?, in the blog I wrote about my experience with couples dealing with losing the trust bond in a relationship due to affairs and infidelity. As a couples therapist, I have sat with many couples while they dealt with affairs and watched how they straggled to coped and how they changed. At times I was able to witness how they transformed the situation from a possible deal breaker of separation and divorce, to a game changer of showing up in their relationship in a new way that may have seemed impossible.

While there is much pain and vulnerability following an affair or breach of trust, some couples are able to look at what happened, see what was missing in the relationship, and at times understand what happened for the partner who had the affair that took them out of the relationship.

Healing from infidelity is a long and painful road. But as a ‘hope junkie’ (that is how I see myself at times), I feel that there is a potential for a Phoenix to rise out of the ashes‘. We can use the most adverse situation to guide us to changes we may have not seen coming.

What is becoming more obvious to me in the many years I have been working in therapy with individuals and couples is that if it is not a deal breaker, it is a game changer. This is not only with infidelity and affairs, but with so many other issues as well.

We are invited to see the potential of change that can come through the most adverse situation. Even with the current Covid19 crisis, there may be a way to see how slowing down, staying close to home, pets, kids, gardens, and especially time with ourselves can reveal a landscape we did not imagine.

I have a request from you, but only if you are incline to do so:

As my new website, DaliaAnderman.com, is gaining it’s own life momentum, I was told by my tech team that having reviews and testimonials is an important and integral part of the success of the new website.

If my work as a therapist has impacted you in a positive way and made a difference in your life, or if you have participated in our Hold Me Tight® workshops and it helped your relationship, or if you want to share your experience so others may gain from the same experience, consider writing a reviews and testimonials on one of the below platforms:

My pages on: Facebook | Google | Yelp

Some of you who participated in our webinar Connection in Time of Isolation, with Owen Marcus and myself, got to experience a taste of the powerful work we offer to couples in our workshops. Your overwhelming responses and appreciation were sincerely heart warming.

Many of you have asked when we will be offering our next non-virtual Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop. Soon, we hope!

We are in touch with our hosting hotel in Grass Valley to secure a future date, and we are carefully monitoring health guidelines for safety.

To all of you, sending hugs and love,

Dalia