The birds they sang
At the break of day
I heard them say
Don’t dwell on what has passed away…
Some years ago while traveling in Costa Rica, I visited a coastal town on New Year Eve. After dinner, the whole town walked down to the beach together holding paper lanterns. At midnight, they lit their lanterns and sent off their wishes for the New Year.
The lanterns were a symbol, lighting the way forward into the future and pushing aside the encompassing darkness. It was a ritual of warding away bad energy and beginning a new (enlightened) path to righteousness.
I also think that it could be a way to give away or no longer carry what we don’t want to take with us moving forward. A way of creating a sense of reNEWal and promise for the New Year.
This New Year, we can use some of those lanterns or we can create our own rituals. It has been a hard year for us all and this is a time of leaving behind the hardships; A time of sending off, letting go, and wishing for a better year to come.
I’m sending my wishes and blessings to all of you for a healthy, safe, sane, Joyful and Happy New Year.
Here in Northern California we experienced an Epic Holiday storm to send off 2021 with a blast. It brought snow all the way down to the lower elevations, breaking records here in Nevada County. Many of us here are still without power, heat, or access to the internet.
Please take good care, be safe, and stay warm. There are many resources available through the county. I was touched by the incredible offers of help and support I received: From drivers with trucks offering rides and help with chains to community warming spaces and hot meal deliveries. I feel honored to be a part of this community.
On Dec 31st, a few days after the storm, I went for a walk in my neighborhood and there was a glorious sunset. For me, it was yet another reminder that the light is returning and of my hope for lighter days to come.
I write a blog about New Years resolutions around this time most years. However, resolutions can feel like a setup for failure, like another way to remind ourselves that we cannot be reliable or accountable.
Maybe this year instead of resolutions, I will create more rituals. Even though I honor and love my work as a therapist, my hope for this year is to work less and to have more time to nurture my health and my relationships.
One important ritual to create is setting aside the time and space to nurture our partner relationship and build secure connection. This year, give yourselves the gift of LOVE. Keeping your love alive, your partner communication intimate and transparent, and your sex life juicy and vibrant is a beautiful vision with which to start the new year!
For those of you who have made a New Years resolution to improve your relationship, we are offering our next Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop on Saturday and Sunday January 29-30, 2022 in Nevada City CA. SPACE IS LIMITED. SO SIGN UP ASAP.
Hold Me Tight® couples workshops are based on Sue Johnson’s Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) which grew out of attachment and how it shapes our intimate connections. The focus of EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), is to help partners understand more clearly each other’s deepest emotions. Feelings are often hidden, unexpressed or misunderstood. Our relationships can be a cause of stress and pain or a source of comfort and joy. In EFT, we help couples learn how to deal with their feelings together, reach towards each other, and be responsive in more loving and positive ways.
At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, you and your partner will learn and experience how to:
• Affirm strengths in your relationship by developing understanding and bonding.
• Address negative cycles and patterns while learning why they show up and how to get out of them.
• Learn how to repair and forgive injuries, and become vulnerable with each other.
• Enhance your emotional, physical, and SEXUAL closeness and INTIMACY.
I am excited to announce that Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator, co-founder of Evryman, and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, will once again be assisting me leading the workshop.
Owen brings with him the experience of decades of leading and facilitating men’s groups all over the country and helping men access their masculine vulnerability. Owen’s presence and his work with couples and men will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop. Owen has been intensely involved in his new company Evryman, reaching men all over the world and helping them access and connect with their deep emotions and vulnerability.
This is a great opportunity to have a deep vulnerable look at your relationship and to gain a deeper understanding of the dance you and your partner do around your needs for connection. It is a great opportunity to develop the skills to recognize the patterns and cycles that keep you separated and learn new ways to slow down and reconnect. It is also a beautiful time to go deeper celebrating the strengths of your relationship and building on the positives that already exist.
Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions or for more information.
My hope for us all in this New Year is that we can send off that which no longer serves us and invite in the renewal and change we desire. After witnessing the New Years ritual in Costa Rica, I adopted their saying “Pura Vida,” which is so appropriate for our times. It translates to “pure life” or “simple life,” which is a way of referencing Costa Rican’s (Ticos) culture of focusing on what is important in life and not stressing the small stuff. It is a used to say hello, goodbye, and to let others know that all is well. It is a reminder to slow down and enjoy the present moment.
Wishing all of you a most happy, healthy, safe, fulfilling, exciting, brave, and courageous NEW YEAR.