Emotionally Focused Therapy Archives

Making A Wish

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops

The birds they sang
At the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don’t dwell on what has passed away…
Leonard Cohen

Some years ago while traveling in Costa Rica, I visited a coastal town on New Year Eve. After dinner, the whole town walked down to the beach together holding paper lanterns. At midnight, they lit their lanterns and sent off their wishes for the New Year.

The lanterns were a symbol, lighting the way forward into the future and pushing aside the encompassing darkness. It was a ritual of warding away bad energy and beginning a new (enlightened) path to righteousness.

I also think that it could be a way to give away or no longer carry what we don’t want to take with us moving forward. A way of creating a sense of reNEWal and promise for the New Year.

Lantern Ritual for New Year Eve in Costa Rica.

This New Year, we can use some of those lanterns or we can create our own rituals. It has been a hard year for us all and this is a time of leaving behind the hardships; A time of sending off, letting go, and wishing for a better year to come.

I’m sending my wishes and blessings to all of you for a healthy, safe, sane, Joyful and Happy New Year.

Here in Northern California we experienced an Epic Holiday storm to send off 2021 with a blast. It brought snow all the way down to the lower elevations, breaking records here in Nevada County. Many of us here are still without power, heat, or access to the internet.

Deep snow in the backyard over the holidays in Nevada City, CA. — My backyard after the storm with more snow than it’s ever seen before.

Please take good care, be safe, and stay warm. There are many resources available through the county. I was touched by the incredible offers of help and support I received: From drivers with trucks offering rides and help with chains to community warming spaces and hot meal deliveries. I feel honored to be a part of this community.

On Dec 31st, a few days after the storm, I went for a walk in my neighborhood and there was a glorious sunset. For me, it was yet another reminder that the light is returning and of my hope for lighter days to come.

Sunset in Nevada City, CA on New Year Eve.

I write a blog about New Years resolutions around this time most years. However, resolutions can feel like a setup for failure, like another way to remind ourselves that we cannot be reliable or accountable.

Maybe this year instead of resolutions, I will create more rituals. Even though I honor and love my work as a therapist, my hope for this year is to work less and to have more time to nurture my health and my relationships.

One important ritual to create is setting aside the time and space to nurture our partner relationship and build secure connection. This year, give yourselves the gift of LOVE. Keeping your love alive, your partner communication intimate and transparent, and your sex life juicy and vibrant is a beautiful vision with which to start the new year!

For those of you who have made a New Years resolution to improve your relationship, we are offering our next Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop on Saturday and Sunday January 29-30, 2022 in Nevada City CA. SPACE IS LIMITED. SO SIGN UP ASAP.

Hold Me Tight® couples workshops are based on Sue Johnson’s Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) which grew out of attachment and how it shapes our intimate connections. The focus of EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), is to help partners understand more clearly each other’s deepest emotions. Feelings are often hidden, unexpressed or misunderstood. Our relationships can be a cause of stress and pain or a source of comfort and joy. In EFT, we help couples learn how to deal with their feelings together, reach towards each other, and be responsive in more loving and positive ways.

At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, you and your partner will learn and experience how to:
• Affirm strengths in your relationship by developing understanding and bonding.
• Address negative cycles and patterns while learning why they show up and how to get out of them.
• Learn how to repair and forgive injuries, and become vulnerable with each other.
• Enhance your emotional, physical, and SEXUAL closeness and INTIMACY.

I am excited to announce that Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator, co-founder of Evryman, and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, will once again be assisting me leading the workshop.

Owen brings with him the experience of decades of leading and facilitating men’s groups all over the country and helping men access their masculine vulnerability. Owen’s presence and his work with couples and men will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop. Owen has been intensely involved in his new company Evryman, reaching men all over the world and helping them access and connect with their deep emotions and vulnerability.

Hold Me Tight® couples workshop flyer for next workshop in New Year. January 29-30, 2022.

This is a great opportunity to have a deep vulnerable look at your relationship and to gain a deeper understanding of the dance you and your partner do around your needs for connection. It is a great opportunity to develop the skills to recognize the patterns and cycles that keep you separated and learn new ways to slow down and reconnect. It is also a beautiful time to go deeper celebrating the strengths of your relationship and building on the positives that already exist.

Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions or for more information.

Sand castle with Pura Vida in the sand in the foreground.

My hope for us all in this New Year is that we can send off that which no longer serves us and invite in the renewal and change we desire. After witnessing the New Years ritual in Costa Rica, I adopted their saying “Pura Vida,” which is so appropriate for our times. It translates to “pure life” or “simple life,” which is a way of referencing Costa Rican’s (Ticos) culture of focusing on what is important in life and not stressing the small stuff. It is a used to say hello, goodbye, and to let others know that all is well. It is a reminder to slow down and enjoy the present moment.

Wishing all of you a most happy, healthy, safe, fulfilling, exciting, brave, and courageous NEW YEAR.

Dalia

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Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson.

Walking the walk in darkness

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops, Individual Therapy

To My Dearest Readers,

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry in The Little Prince

This week, I was honored to officiate the marriage of a couple whom I have worked with in my therapy practice. I helped a couple in the midst of a breakdown move to a breakthrough. I sat with a couple who dealt with a relapse after years of sobriety, and I held space for a couple who decided to transform their decades long marriage from a romantic pair bond relationship to one of co-parenting and friendship after a long process of therapy. It was not an easy week, and yet, so deep in my heart, I feel the call, the vision, the hope of connection. (Sometimes my clients say I am a hope junky.)

I would not have been able to do all this amazing work that has me feeling so honored, without coming across the work of Dr. Sue Johnson, and becoming an Emotionally Focused Therapist. Those of you who know my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist, know that when I met Dr. Sue Johnson more than 10 years ago, my professional life changed direction. And honestly, so did my own life. You can not fully separate your life as a psychotherapist from your life as a partner, a mother, a friend, and a community member. With this in mind, it’s up to therapists to walk the talk.

At the time, I was already a seasoned psychotherapist using a mix of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Ericksonian hypnotherapy, EMDR, and quite a few others. However, when it came to couples therapy though, I felt that much more was possible. Couples therapy felt complex, it didn’t play by the same rules, and at times I felt lost.

When I met Dr. Sue Johnson at the Psychotherapy NetWorker professional conferences, I knew I had found an answer to my search about how to be more effective in couples therapy. Following her around the conference and listening to every presentations I could, I felt that for the first time I understood what was behind relationship and how to break the code of what was happening in my therapy office. What Sue calls Cracking the Code of Love became clear in how couples in my therapy practice were going through the dance of relationships, protesting, fighting, longing to be heard, seen, and loved.

After more than a decade of training with Sue Johnson and many others in the field of emotionally focused therapy and attachment therapy, the path to healing for couples feels clear to me.

In her recent blog, A meditation on vulnerability, survival, and comfort when there is no escape, Sue shares her deep vulnerability around her recent medical emergency, and the possibility of loosing her eye sight. Today is her surgery and I am finding myself in gratitude, meditation and prayer, for her recovery and well being. I admire her vulnerability, transparency about her fears, her walk with darkness, and her recognition of the need we all have for connection.

Sue, you have thought me to see my couples, to understand how they get caught in their negative cycle, in their perpetual dance. You have helped so many couples to see each other, to see the panic behind the fight, and to translate their partner’s anger and frustration into the fear of disconnection and the longing to connect.

In her blog, Sue’s shares that although there are many forms of meditation, coping, and other survival skills to deal with trauma, illness, shocks, and loss, the deepest sense and help in times of needs is the loving touch of another.

For me, as an attachment theorist and researcher, all these threads tie into and reflect the most basic biological survival code of all: being with another who is present and loving. To be rocked in the arms of a loved one, to feel a loving hand on your face, to hear a soft voice telling you that you are precious and are not alone. This is what our nervous system longs for; This takes us beyond fear and loss. And maybe this is what poets meant when they’ve said, ‘Love is not everything. It’s the ONLY thing.’

Walking the walk, and not just talking the talk, has at times been a challenge for me as a therapist. Over the years, I’ve heard myself saying things to my kids, partners, or friends, when I hear the voice in my head saying , “did you hear that?” As in, “what if my clients heard me?” In my work, I do not try to be perfect, but I strive as hard as I can to be authentic and real.

It is simpler to know and teach this work. It is when you are seeing yourself get caught in the negative cycle and the dance of fight-flight-blame-shame-shutdown-repeat, that true transformation of oneself as a therapist happens. When you’re really ‘becoming’, and ‘walking your talk’.

When in her blog, Sue Johnson shares the intimacy of her fear in this hard and scary moment and what it is to walk the walk in darkness, we understand how the true sense of intimacy is INTO ME I SEE – INTO ME YOU SEE.

To all of you, my readers, I am sorry for not writing my blog in the consistency I am committed to. We have all had a hard and surreal year, a time no one could have ever predicted, a journey without a map.

Our HOLD ME TIGHT® WORKSHOPS will be resuming soon. I will let you all know ASAP once we know dates, location, and protocol.

I send you much love,

Yours,

~Dalia

P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM

Facebook | HOLD ME TIGHT® WORKSHOPS

Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson.

A Tribe of Two – Connection in Time of Isolation

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops, Individual Therapy

To My Dearest Readers..

A couple I was seeing last week, was sharing that in this stressful times of COVID-19 and the Corona virus epidemic, they were feeling the urgency to work on their relationship.. ‘If we are going be quarantined together’, they said.. ‘we better learn how to get along’….

Another couples say ‘we need a crash course in communication and on how to be supportive and relaying on/to each other’..

When our lives get disrupted in such a ‘never before’ way, our usual coping skills and strategies get tested and at times may not be as effective.

Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), has changed the way we understand the dance we called love, and the a structure and needs, behind our conflicts in relationships. We now understand that our negative communication patterns is a result of unmet needs in our attachment bond. We are fighting for connection and we protest our disconnection.

At times like these, with uncertainty, fear, social distancing and isolation, we need each other ever more acutely.

We have all been encouraged to ‘socially distance’ so we can reduce the spread of the Corona Virus. However, being alone is Interpreted in our mammalian brain as ‘Danger’, and Being Connected is Interpreted as ‘Safe’..

Though our mammalian DNA is coded for connection Most of us live in ‘a tribes of two’, (if we are lucky), many of us live alone. Isolation can lead to fear, loneliness, depression, decreased immune system, and lack of ability to find meaning.

During the devastating fire that destroyed Paradise, and adjoining areas, we saw how important the need for connection and the community to support each other, became so crucial. Secure Attachments Help with Stress in Times of Adversity. Here is my blog about Secure Attachment in times of adversity.

Michele Weiner-Davis, best selling author, a couples marriage therapist, and public speaker, writes: “Let’s remember that we’re all in this together. Let’s give each other get-out-of-jail-free passes when our responses to mundane matters seem a bit over the top. Let’s let the small things slide. Let’s use this down time to find new and creative ways to connect rather than blame each other.

“Let’s inoculate our marriages against fear, anxiety and uncertainty by making love our most important underlying condition.”

In these stressful time of this global epidemic, with all the unknowns we are facing, it becomes even more important to know we are not alone, and that we can rely on others.

Unfortunately, the stress, hurts our ability to cope, and compromise our immune system.

Dr. Andrew Goliszek Ph.D, writes in Psychology today:

“The ability to fend off illness and disease depends on several factors, some of which are beyond our control, but the way we react to stress and the general health of our immune system are things we can influence. If we’re not able to change our response to stressors, we’ll find ourselves in a constant hormonal battle that will lead to serious health issues like hypertension, diabetes, and heart disease. The brain and the immune system are in constant communication in this delicate balance that can be disrupted by any kind of physical or emotional stress.”

My colleague Jonathan Robinson writes:

“If you’re feeling stressed lately, you’ve got plenty of company—even if you’re at home alone. (That’s an attempt at a little coronavirus humor). Anyway, according to the American Medical Association, 80 to 90% of disease is stress-related. That means that if you don’t want you or your loved ones to get sick, become better at handling your stress—since stress greatly lessens your immunity.”

We need each other to survive. Connection is in our strength. And though, we need to ‘social distance’, so we can help prevent and slow the virus spreading, we do not need to give up connection.

Reach out to family, colleagues, friends, and associates, reach out and connect in what ever format that is possible. We need to ‘Social distance’, and to keep safe, but we do not need ‘isolation’.

Let your heart lead, do not let fear and panic be your guides.

Here is a message I sent to my clients this week.

My dearest clients:

In response to current public health concerns regarding the spread of the COVID 19 virus, I am offering the option of telehealth therapy services (on-line sessions), to all of you.

Although for now, I am still seeing clients in my Nevada City office, I may need to transition to only tele-health therapy, (on line sessions) in the near future.

If you are having financial hardship to pay for therapy, please do not hesitate to connect with me, we can work it out.

Together we can weather this storm. Remember stress reduces our immunity.

I am committed to helping you reduce stress, and maintain secure connection.

Please take good care of yourselves and each other💕

Hugs (virtual)…

In gratitude and love to all of you

Dalia

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Are the ‘Reds’ of Valentine’s Day Giving you the ‘Blues’?

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops, Individual Therapy

PART II

I have mixed feelings about Valentine Day..

Few years ago I wrote my Valentine Day blog with the same title. Are the ‘Reds’ of Valentine’s Day Giving you the ‘Blues’? I still find the title applicable, so here is ‘part II’…

On one hand I am very glad we are celebrating LOVE day, it is a celebration, as love is maybe one the most important concepts and aspects in our life … On the other hand, there are so many mixed emotions around this holidays..

As soon as January rolls in, the shelves in the grocery stores, and the store windows, fill up with Valentine’s Day ‘goodies’… pink bears, heart shaped chocolate boxes, chocolate roses, flowers, cards… all reminding us NOT to forget our loved ones on Valentine’s Day…

For many of us, Valentine’s Day is stressful. There are many expectations, and with them, the potential for failure..

We may feel apprehensive, we may experience fears and stress and memories of abandonment, betrayals, rejections, and disappointment. ‘Will I matter to you?’.. ‘Will I get it ‘right’… ‘Will I ever be good enough?’

In an article in Forbes Magazine If You’re Not Happy During Valentine’s Day, You’re Not Alone, Bruce Y Lee writes: ‘Valentine’s Day is certainly a happy occasion for many. An opportunity to spend a day with that special someone or, for some, someones. A time to generate more memories, show your love or feel loved. But for others, it’s anything but…even if you are in a relationship. For a number of people, the commercially designated day of love can actually cause stress, anxiety, unhappiness and even depression..’

There are many stresses around relationships. Whether you are stressing about not being in a relationship, or being in one where you are not happy, or if you are happy, being afraid it can be lost…

As reported in Relationships Redefined, ‘43% of Americans feel that their relationships aren’t meaningful and are isolated from others – especially prominent in Gen Z, conceived to be the loneliest generation, a cohort whose usage of digital devices supersedes other group. Online relationships overtake IRL ones and constant digital connection has led to a disconnect in real life. Qualities such as vulnerability, setting boundaries and communication within relationships (platonic or romantic) have been lost, replaced with love heart eyes’

Valentine Day brings up a lot of loneliness for many. The longing to find that one person to complete life and make it meaningful.

As a couples therapist I get to work with couples when romance, and relationship hit a bump.. and may goes somehow awry. I find it so inspiring, when deal breakers turn into game changers. Many times in therapy, couples are able to turn a difficult situation, into an amazing ‘turn-around’. It could be a shock to the relationship when attachment injuries happen. Whether we are dealing with infidelity, addiction, relapse, or any other reach of trust, I have witnessed so many times, in my therapy practice and in our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop how a transformation to the relationship takes place and a ‘Phoenix can rise out of the ashes‘.

But lets not forget that Valentine Day is not just about romantic love and relationships but about love. Love between parents and children, love of friends and friendships, love of pets, trees, birds, earth, mother nature, and of course, loving our vulnerable self.

Tonight I am honored and excited to be invited to a couples 60th wedding anniversary!! What they say to me is not that ‘we were lucky’ but that ‘we did not give up’!!

Getting it ‘right’ on Valentine’s Day can sometimes be tricky.. How do we let our loved ones know that we love and care? maybe, after all, ‘getting it right’, is not about the presents but about the presence?…

In the movie ‘Shall We Dance’, Susan Sarandon says about why do people get married..

‘But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything–the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things–all of it, all the time, every day. You’re saying, ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.

One of my favorite authors, speaker, change agent, and inspirations leader Brené Brown , talks about how important vulnerability is to relationships, connections, and love.

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.”

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Dr. Sue Johnson, a pioneer and explorer in understanding couples and relationship, a trail blazer, author, writer, and researcher in the field of relationship, tell us that ‘We are wired for survival and for connection. For most of us, our sense of intuition will alert us to any emotional danger in our relationships, and any disconnect signal danger. We will then want to protect ourselves, by prompting a protest, a fight or flight, or freeze and flee response. It is when that safe love connection gets compromised, that our primary panic alarm sets us off, alerting us to the danger of disconnect from a loved one.’

Dr. Sue Johnson developed the Hold Me Tight program based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and her bestselling book, Hold Me Tight, Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love.

For those of you who have made a New Year resolution for a better relationship in 2020, and want to deepen and strengthen your relationship and connection, we are offering our next , Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop on Saturday and Sunday, April 4-5, 2020, in Nevada City CA.

(Spaces are limited, so Please SIGN UP ASAP.)

At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, in a safe, intimate, private setting, we hold space for couples to become vulnerable and open to explore, experience, touch and talk through issues that have been untouched. It is time set aside to have these conversations that have been waiting for a long time to happen.

‘Hold Me Tight®’ is a registered trademark to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder and originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy.(EFT).

I am excited to announce that Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator, TEDxTALK presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, and co-founder of Evryman will once again be co-leading the workshop with me.

Evryman is the company Owen and his colleagues are creating to help men get connected, vulnerable and find their tribe.

Owen brings with him the width of decades of leading and facilitating men’s group all over the country, helping men access their masculine vulnerability. Owens presence, and his work with couples and men, will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight workshop.

We Invite and Welcome all Couples!!!

At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, you and your partner will learn and experience how to:
• Affirm strengths in your relationship by developing understanding and bonding.
• Address negative cycle patterns, and learn why they show up, and how to get out of them.
• Learn how to repair and forgive injuries, and become vulnerable with each other.
• Enhance your emotional, physical, and SEXUAL closeness and INTIMACY.

Don’t miss this unique opportunity that helped many couples find the way back to a secure connected romantic intimate relationship.

Here is a link to many testimonials and reviews of past participants.

We keep the groups small and intimate, sign up ASAP, all of our previous workshops have been Sold-Out!

To register please CLICK HERE.

Please FORWARD the information to anyone you think will benefit from this work, and please call or email me with any questions or for more information,

OUR WORKSHOPS ARE OPEN TO ALL COUPLES!

for any information about the workshop or to contact me with any questions or inquiry,

you can email: dalia@daliaanderman.com

or call: (530)692 0680

In gratitude and love to all of you

Dalia

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Workshops

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How to Get it ‘Right’ on Valentine’s Day..

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops

As soon as January rolls in, the shelves in the grocery store fill up with Valentine’s Day ‘goodies’… pink bears, heart shaped chocolate boxes, chocolate roses, flowers, cards… all reminding us NOT to forget our loved ones on Valentine’s Day…

Getting it ‘right’ on Valentine’s Day can be tricky.. so ‘How Do I Get it Right’? How do I let them know that I love and care?

For many of us, Valentine’s Day is stressful. There are so many expectations, and with them, the potential for failure.. We may feel apprehensive, with fears and stress about abandonment, betrayals, rejections, and disappointment. ‘Will I matter to you?’.. ‘Will I get it ‘right’… ‘Will I ever be good enough?’

It is said that January is the ‘Divorce Month‘.. I am not sure if it is because of Holiday stress (See my blog about Holiday Stress), or that for some of us, our New Year Resolutions, are about starting a new page in our life (here is my blog post about New Year Resolutions), but according to much research, there are more divorce papers filed in January then in any other month.

In his blog post ‘Why is January Divorce Month?‘, Barton Goldsmith PhD. writes, “According to the courts, January is the month when most divorces are filed. It may be because the holidays are over or that people want a fresh start at the New Year. Some couples who’ve been planning to break up choose to avoid disrupting their families during the holidays. Others may be hoping that their situation or their partner’s behaviors will change, and when nothing shifts, they opt for dissolution, which at best is a sad thing.”

Maybe that is why, as February rolls in.. we are obviously in the ‘recovery zone’ and eager to get our romantic love ‘right’, and Valentine’s Day a success …

Some years ago I wrote a blog post called: Are the ‘Reds’ of Valentine’s Day Giving you the ‘Blues’? Whether we are in a good solid relationship, wishing and longing to be in one, or struggling to make sense of a difficult complicated relationship: relationships are HARD. Making it through the roller-coaster of togetherness, can be difficult. Balancing a life of chores, children, economics, extended family, while keeping the sacredness of sex and intimacy, can be challenging.

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic ’til I’m gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love…” – Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen’s longing lyrics … Dance me through the panic ’til I’m gathered safely in… remind us what we are really looking for…

We are all longing for that ‘safety in connection’, for that sense that we can let go of our anxieties, relax, knowing that we are held and witnessed. We want to know that ‘I am safe with you’, that when I need you, you will be there for me, and you have my back. We all need that.

We are wired for survival and for connection. For most of us, our sense of intuition will alert us to any emotional danger in our relationships, and any disconnect signal danger. We will then want to protect ourselves, by prompting a protest, a fight or flight, or freeze and flee response. It is when that safe love connection gets compromised, that our primary panic alarm sets us off, alerting us to the danger of disconnect from a loved one.

One of my favorite authors is speaker, change agent, and inspirations leader Brené Brown , who talks about how important vulnerability is to relationships, connections, and love.

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.”

“Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It’s the magic sauce.” ~ Brené Brown

So maybe, after all, getting it ‘right’… is not about the presents but about the presence…

Last weekend, during the last hours of our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, here in Nevada City CA, (“Hold Me Tight®” is a registered trademark to Sue Johnson), as we set to our closing ritual, there was not a dry eye in the group. It was so profound, and deep, that once again, I was struck with awe, and immense gratitude to Dr. Sue Johnson who embarked on this journey of figuring out couples relationships, and broke the code of ‘what it is to love’, what are the obstacles to secure attachment, and how to achieve deep close bonding connections with our loved ones.

A man came to me as we were saying our goodbyes, and said: “the work we did this weekend, I never thought will ever be possible between us, you saved our marriage, and you changed my life, being vulnerable was a longing I had all my life. I just did not know how to call it, or how to get there”.

Another participant came and said: “It feels so reassuring to know that we are not alone. To connect with other couples in this setting and to learn so much about how to get our relationship right. The Hold Me Tight workshop gave us a map to succeed in our relationship”.

For more reviews and testimonials about our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, (“Hold Me Tight®” is a registered trademark to Sue Johnson), read more here..

For those of you who have made a New Year resolution for a better relationship, and want to deepen and strengthen your relationship and connection, we are offering our next , Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop on Saturday and Sunday, May 5-6, 2018, in Nevada City CA.

(Spaces are limited, so Please SIGN UP ASAP.)

Dr. Sue Johnson developed the Hold Me Tight program based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and her bestselling book, Hold Me Tight, Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love.

“Hold Me Tight®” is a registered trademark to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder and originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy.(EFT).

The focus of EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), is to help partners understand more clearly each other’s deepest emotions. Feelings are often hidden, unexpressed or misunderstood. Our relationships can be a cause of stress and pain or a source of comfort and joy. In EFT, we help couples learn how to deal with their feelings together, reach towards each other, and be responsive in more loving and positive ways.

Are you longing for Love, Connection, Intimacy, and Vulnerability with your partner, but instead you:

• have recurring fights that go round and round without resolution?
• lack affection, intimacy, closeness, or sex?
• feel alone, lonely, betrayed, abandoned?

Do you want to:

feel more closeness, connection, and engagement with your partner?
have good fulfilling communication?
learn how to reach for your partner at times of need?
renew your commitment for intimacy and sexual connection?
learn how to ‘dance to the end of love’?

At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Relationship Workshop, you will learn and experience how to:

• Affirm strengths in your relationship by developing understanding, communication, and bonding.
• Address negative cycle patterns, and learn why they show up, and how to get out of them.
• Learn how to repair and forgive injuries, and become vulnerable with each other.
• Enhance your emotional, physical, and sexual closeness, and INTIMACY.

The focus of EFT is to help partners to understand more clearly each other’s deepest emotions. Feelings are often hidden, unexpressed or misunderstood. Our relationships can be a cause of stress and pain or a source of comfort and joy. We help couples learn how to deal with their feelings together, reach towards each other, and be Accessible, Responsive, and Engaged.. in more loving and positive ways.

This is a great opportunity to have a deeper and vulnerable look at your relationship, develop new skills to recognize the cycle and patterns that inflict the relationship and keep you separated and apart, and it is also a beautiful time to connect and highlight the strengths of your relationship, and build on the positives that already exist.

Though I lead this workshop regularly, it’s always a renewed, compelling experience for me to facilitate, witness, and hold space for the vulnerable reaching that occurs between partners during the workshop.

Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, will once again be assisting me in the workshop. Owen brings with him decades of experience leading and facilitating men’s group all over the country in helping men access their masculine vulnerability. Owen’s presence and his work with couples and men will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight workshop by offering his depth, support and perspective to the couples in our workshop.

Here are the links to Owen’s work: http://owenmarcus.com

Owen’s TEDX talk: What 10,000 Years Of Progress Has Cost.

As I keep the groups small and intimate, if you know you want to sign up, I will encourage you to do so shortly, as all our workshop in the last few years have been Sold-Out!

This is a great opportunity to have a deeper and vulnerable look at your relationship, to understand the dance of your own relationships, and develop new skills to recognize the cycle and patterns that inflict the relationship and keep you separated and apart.

It is also a beautiful time to connect and highlight the strengths of your relationship, and build on the positives that already exist.

Please do not hesitate to Contact me with any questions or for more information.

Wishing all of you a special, connected, happy, secure, sweet Valentine’s Day.