Dalia Anderman, LMFT

Emotional Focus Therapy

Couples Therapy

Pushing Beyond our Comfort Zone

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops

Dear Reader,

Decades ago, when I was in my early 30’s, I was traveling in South East Asia and went trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal and Northern India. I always dreamt of going back to those mountains. There is a saying that the Himalayas start where all other mountains end, and for me, being a traveler, they brought a sense of awe, inspiration, and reverence.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it; Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

And so there I was, flying into Leh this August to go on a trek in Ladakh and Zanskar, which are in the Northern India Himalayas.

During the trek we had local Ladakh villagers, many of them Tibetan refugees, with horses and donkeys carrying our things over the mountains and setting camp. Every night they waited for us with bright beautiful smiles, hot chai, a warm meal, and with the greetings you hear all over the range, “Julley-Julley.”

Ladakh, home to a variety of Tibetan schools of Buddhism, has shown so much respect to the Dalai Lama. Their devotion and faith in the Dalai Lama is unrivaled anywhere in India.

The Himalayas are immense and powerful. We hiked around 10-15 miles a day, at high elevations of 12,000~14,000 feet, crossing passes at 15,700 feet. The altitude was hard to navigate, as every step seemed to take so much out of me. It was super challenging, and at times, I wondered if I was brave or insane, while asking myself ‘what was thinking… (I wasn’t ;).

I was for sure the oldest in my trekking group and guides, and often made it to camp many hours after everyone else.

A sweet touching moments on this journey was when I was apologizing for being so slow and one of the locals guides told me how inspiring it was that I was trekking at a similar age to his grandmothers who could hardly walk let alone trek.

It was difficult and challenging, and definitely outside of my comfort zone, but I am so glad I did it! It was a transformative experience and an opportunity to turn a breakdown into a breakthrough.

I needed that time away. 2024 has been a difficult year. Pushing myself beyond my comfort zone, discovering new landscapes externally as well as internally, and fostering new meditations and understandings.

This week is Rosh H’Shanna, the Jewish New Year. Shanna Tova. May this year bring safety, healing, and peace to ALL.

We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.

George Bernard Shaw

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.

Helen Keller

Valentines Day ’25 in Costa Rica

And speaking of pushing an edge, after more than a decade of offering our Hold Me Tight® Couple workshops here in Northern California, we are offering this breakthrough retreat in Costa Rica.

If you and your partner are looking to adventure this next Valentine Day, to push the edge of your relationship, to take risks and explore heights and the depths, come with us! I am excited and inspired to announce our Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat at the Imiloa Institute in Costa Rica for Valentine’s Day 2025 (February 11-16).

At this Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat, you and your partner will have the opportunity to take a deep dive into your relationship:

  • Affirm strengths in the relationship through understanding, communication, and bonding.
  • Address negative cycle patterns; Learn why they show up and how to get out of them.
  • Learn how to repair and forgive injuries and become vulnerable with each other. 
  • Enhance emotional, physical, and sexual closeness and intimacy.

Processing is done as couples, and when we connect as a group, sharing is optional.

Included

  • Accommodations – five nights and six days at Imiloa Eco-luxury Retreat Center
  • Charter Flight from SJO (San Jose Costa Rica), airport to an small airport close to the retreat center
  • IMILOA Shuttle Service All-inclusive luxury SUV ground transportation
  • Plant-based, organic, locally sourced, gourmet meals, created each day by a master 5-star chef
  • A campus devoted to our retreat, tucked in the Costa Rica jungle
  • Access to a private waterfall, miles of nature paths, incredible flora and fauna, and an ocean view infinity pool
  • Yoga classes taught by the local instructors
  • Access to an online resource library
  • A workbook full with conversations and communication exercises, skill building toolkit, and much more
  • Special excursions
  • Magical surprises

Co-Facilitator

Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator, co-founder and creator of the EVRYMAN Method, co-founder of MELD, and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, will once again be co-leading this workshop with me. (Owen’s TEDX talk)

With a rich background in leading men’s groups and trainings across the country, Owen specializes in guiding men to embrace vulnerability. His expertise extends to working with couples, and he has shared his methods with a diverse audience, including therapists, NGOs, and major tech firms like Google. Owen’s deep experience and innovative approach, honed through co-founding EVRYMAN and now co-leading his latest venture, MELD, promises to significantly enrich the dynamics of the workshop.

Register here

We keep our workshops small to ensure privacy, safety, and personal attention.
Space is limited. We welcome all couples!!
(Please FORWARD to anyone you think will benefit from this work.)

In gratitude and love to all of you,
~Dalia


P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM


Facebook | HOLD ME TIGHT® WORKSHOPS

Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson, founder and originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy.

Reignite Your Relationship at Our Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat in Costa Rica

Couples Intensive, Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops

Experience transformation, connection, and rejuvenation at a 6-day Couples Retreat

Those of you who know me, know how much I love to travel, and be in the world. My natural curiosity makes me eager to experience new places. You probably also know how devoted I am to my psychotherapy practice and the Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops I lead. It is like leading couples on an adventurous journey, helping their relationships move from breakdowns to breakthroughs.

Now I am inviting you to come with me and share this unique experience, combining both my passions! Our exclusive Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat will be held at the Imiloa Institute in Costa Rica.

Step into a new chapter of your relationship

Unwind, play, and reconnect with your partner amidst the lush beauty of Costa Rica, a perfect setting for rediscovering your passion, the uniqueness of your relationship, and the love you wish to share.

Imagine waking up in the jungle, hearing toucans and macaws conversing in the canopy above you, having ample time to reconnect with yourself and your partner. Dive deep into your relationship while you also explore the jungle around you and the amazing coastal beaches just a 10-minute drive down the mountain.

In the past I have led these workshops in my home town of Nevada City, California, and in other locations such as New York, Idaho, Israel, and South Africa, but I have to admit I’m very excited about this unique location. Imiloa has a magic and transformative power of its own and I can’t think of a better setting for this powerful couples retreat!

All couples face periods of conflict and disconnection

Photo by Simon Shim on Unsplash

It’s not uncommon for partners to feel stuck or unable to communicate effectively or resolve conflicts, sometimes even for years. These negative patterns can strain the relationship to its breaking point.

Research reveals that Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, can significantly improve distressed relationships.

I have written a lot on my website and in many of my blogs about the unique version of Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops and Retreats led by Owen Marcus and myself. During this couples retreat you and your partner will benefit from over two decades of my work as a couples therapist utilizing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to understand the patterns of attachment in the dance of relationship. You will also benefit from Owen Marcus’ decades of experience working with men’s emotional intelligence, as well as his understanding and unique lens which he details in his book Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence and utilizes in his work as the co-founder of EVRYMAN.

Rekindle Your Connection!

The Hold Me Tight® 6-day (5-night) Couples Retreat at the Costa Rica Imiloa Institute offers a unique and intensive healing experience designed to move couples out of disconnection and into a place of love, understanding, and hope. It is also a time to celebrate your relationship and take time for play, joy, and intimacy.

The Hold Me Tight® Workshop is designed around seven conversations detailed in the Hold Me Tight book, all of which have been shown to be essential to successful relationships. You will learn how to understand and improve your relationship with presentations by the workshop leaders, private exercises and conversations with your partner, and by watching video demonstrations of other couples.

Although the format encourages questions and comments, you do not need to speak in the group if you do not wish to. All of the dialogues with your partner will be done in private, as privacy, confidentiality and comfort are of upmost importance.

At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat, you will learn how to:

  • Move out of negative cycles that keep you feeling stuck and alone
  • Make sense of your own, as well as your partner’s, emotions
  • Forgive injuries that keep you from really opening up to your partner
  • Communicate your emotional needs for connection where there has been abandonment and betrayal

During and after our retreat you will be able to:

  • Establish a secure and intimate bond with one another
  • Restore commitment and hope
  • Decrease isolation, distance, and loneliness
  • Learn to manage intense and negative emotion
  • Rebuild safety and trust
  • Find a way back to the passion, sexual connection, and intimacy you once shared

Participants from our last Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop shared the following:

Though I love my husband dearly, I’d given up trying to repair and restore our relationship and marriage. I’d filed for divorce. As a last ditch effort, I agreed to attend Dalia’s and Owen’s Hold Me Tight workshop. I was skeptical that this would work. But, it did!

Without publicly airing our dirty laundry, we learned to listen to each other. Where I’d felt my emotional pain was unheard and unvalidated, I now felt the longed-for connections begin to establish themselves.

We have a lot of work ahead, but the workshop has provided a solid foundation and framework to continue the hard work required to heal and restore our commitment to each other. The results of our work during those two days were enough for me to decide to dismiss my divorce proceedings.

If you have any desire to save your relationship, I highly recommend Dalia’s and Owen’s Hold Me Tight workshop!

~ Ramona H

My spouse and I had the opportunity to participate in a recent “Hold Me Tight” retreat with Dalia. I was apprehensive at first as we were referred to the program by a therapist. I am so glad we went.

Dalia and her co-facilitators instantly made us feel comfortable. Being with 9 other couples helped me realize that my marriage isn’t broken and we aren’t doing this all wrong. It helped me realize that there are other people also wondering how to be better; how to communicate in a way that is healthy and sustainable for both of us.

My spouse and I plan to revisit and attend another retreat in a couple of years because we got so much out of it. I am confident that moving forward he and I will have an easier time communicating our needs to one another, listening to the underlying messages, and ultimately caring for and loving each other for many years to come.

Thank you Dalia, Owen, and Stephanie for being real, honest, and experts in the field of love and marriage. We are so thankful.

~ Darby G

The retreat includes:

  • Luxury accommodations for 6 days, 5 nights
  • Roundtrip private plane transfer from SJO airport to Imiloa’s landing strip, and all ground transportation
  • Gourmet, organic, plant-based meals
  • Fresh organic juice, coffee, and tea
  • Pool and beach experiences
  • Morning yoga
  • Time for you to reconnect, restore, and reignite your relationship
  • A workbook based on the Hold Me Tight® platform, which will be a resource during the workshop, and is full of information, guidance and helpful exercises
  • Engaging presentations, experiential exercises, video demonstrations of other real-life couples, and the opportunity for many private conversations with your partner
  • Owen and Dalia, two master therapists, will be there to teach and assist, and give you and your relationship counseling and guidance as need
  • Post-workshop complimentary follow-up support

What is not included:

  • Flights to SJO airport in Costa Rica 
  • Travel insurance (optional, but recommended)
  • Spa services
  • Extra day trips and excursions 

If you are interested in purchasing travel insurance, Imiloa has partnered with a Global Rescue, a comprehensive travel insurance program which offers “cancel for any reason” plans to maximize coverage.

For more information, we are happy to offer a free 30-minute consultation!

We are thrilled that you are considering our Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat and would be happy to answer any questions you might have during a free consultation. Please fill out our brief questionnaire to ensure we tailor this consultation to your needs and help us make the most out of our 30-minute session together.

Please do not hesitate to contact me privately by email at dalia@daliaanderman.com, or call or text my cell: 530.218.2721.

In gratitude and love to all of you,

P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM


Facebook | HOLD ME TIGHT® WORKSHOPS

Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson, founder and originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy.

Removing what does not belong…

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops

The sculpture is already complete within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.

― Michelangelo

naked man statue in grayscale photography
Photo by Jianxiang Wu on Unsplash

Recently I was fortunate enough to be in Florence, Italy, and I went to see some of the most incredible works of art by Michelangelo and one in particular made me think of a couples relationship.

The brilliant Renaissance artist Michelangelo, was asked about the difficulties that he must have encountered in sculpting his masterpiece David. His reply was, “It is easy. You just chip away the stone that doesn’t look like David.”

This is a metaphor I use when I work in my therapy office. At times, couples are stuck in their endless cycles of conflicts and fights, when what they really want is that precious sculpture, hidden in the marble slab. That deep connection whose potential is already present but which must be rediscovered continuously. Rumi also speaks to this truth in a personal way saying,

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
― Rumi

As we melt and remove the barriers and obstacles we have put up against love and connection, we have a much better chance of obtaining it.

Sometimes trauma, fear, or attachment injuries block us from wanting or achieving that which we most desire – Connection.

Old injuries reminds us not to want, not to reach, and not to expect so we do not get hurt, rejected, or disappointed.

As I stood there at the Academia in Florence looking at the powerful sculpture Pietà, I felt the meaning of the word Pieta, overwhelming compassion, in my body.

Photo by mharrsch on Openverse

Recently I was visiting my homeland of Israel, where I was offering a training for therapists about Emotional Focused Therapy, and how to work with couples when one or both are struggling with trauma.

In a country torn by ongoing war (Israel just celebrated 75 years of existence, and 75 years of constant conflict), it becomes more obvious how much trauma can become an organizing force in our daily lives and shape our relationships.

Understanding how our dance of relationship is impacted by our trauma, is important when helping couples get unstuck from the negative cycle. What served our survival as young children, and even as young adults, can become a barrier when we try to connect with our partners. What once saved us, is now in the way.

silhouette of hugging couple
Photo by Oziel Gómez on Unsplash

Protecting ourselves is our primary survival instinct, so when our “Operating System” is telling us something is dangerous and we need to protect ourselves, much of the time we will default to our old coping strategies. These strategies may protect us, but they also keep us apart and alone.

These strategies often show up as danger detectors initiating our Fight-Flight-Freeze response, causing us to see our partners as coming AT us when they are really coming TO us. Even while under the survival mechanisms, there is a longing for contact and connection. We want our thoughts to be read, we want to share what is deep and painful.

Dr. Sue Johnson, explorer, researcher, trailblazer, and author in understanding couples and relationships, tells us: “We are wired for survival and for connections. For most of us, our sense of intuition will alert us to any emotional danger in our relationships, and any disconnect signal danger. We will then want to protect ourselves, by prompting a protest, a fight or flight, or freeze and flee response.  It is when that safe love connection gets compromised, that our primary panic alarm sets us off, alerting us to the danger of disconnect from a loved one.“

At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, in a safe, intimate, and private setting, we hold space for couples to become vulnerable and open to explore, experience, touch, and talk through issues that have been untouched. It is time set aside to have these conversations that have been waiting for a long time to happen.

I am excited to announce that Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator, TEDxTALK presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, and co-founder of Evryman, will once again be co-leading the workshop with me. Evryman is a space that helps all men get connected, be vulnerable, and find their tribe.

Owen brings with him decades of experience in leading and facilitating men’s groups all over the country, and helping men access their masculine vulnerability.  Owen’s presence, and his work with couples and men, will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop.

Our next couples workshop:

Nevada City, CA
Date: August 26-27, 2023
Price: $1045 per couple ($945 early bird pricing through 7/15/23) 
Download Flyer

At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, you and your partner will learn and experience how to:

  • Affirm strengths in your relationship by developing understanding and bonding
  • Address negative cycle patterns, learn why they show up, and how to get out of them
  • Learn how to repair and forgive injuries, and become vulnerable with each other
  • Enhance your emotional, physical, and sexual closeness and INTIMACY

Don’t miss this unique opportunity that has helped many couples find the way back to a secure, connected, romantic, intimate relationship. We keep the groups small and intimate, so sign up ASAP. All of our previous workshops have sold out!

Register Here

Our Workshops Are Open to ALL Couples. Please share this page with anyone you think will benefit from our work.

For questions or inquiries about the work I do, please contact me via email at dalia@daliaanderman.com or by phone at (530) 692-0680.

Here are some Testimonial from our previous weekend workshop participants

Safe environment to help grow and process. Great set of new tools for all relationships, not just relationship with partner. Truly insightful as to how I am, how I can improve and be more supportive while expressing my needs.

Dalia and Owen are caring, competent professionals with genuine ability to connect and with real Insight. The program, the process is effective in breaking through personal barriers to connection.

This workshop is life-changing – for both the couple and the individual. What you put in is what you will get out of it. The workshop gives you the structure, provides a concept, and an environment that builds a solid foundation for a healthy relationship.

I recommend this workshop to all couples, not just the couples in distress. The HMT method would have been beneficial in the beginning of our relationship. It would have saved us many years of turmoil. This workshop is something I hope to do year after year.

Dalia and Owen cover so much in just one weekend. It’s a productive space to understand your relationship patterns and work thru some issues. It is helpful to see how others navigate their hard stuff too. You’ll leave feeling more committed to the partner you want to be!

In gratitude and love to all of you,

P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM


Facebook | HOLD ME TIGHT® WORKSHOPS

Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson.

Are we there yet? Taking time out.

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops, Individual Therapy

Dear Reader,

Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.

Marcus Aurelius

When I was younger, I remember we use to have calendars where you ripped off a page every day. Even then I remember being fascinated with how time went by; I looked forward to tearing off yesterday’s page and looked forward to what the next page/day looked like. I also remember that time stretched out, and moved slowly. Now it seems that those same days are going by ever so fast, and that my unit of time is more a month, rather than a day.

When Time Took Over, by Carl Mautz.
When Time Took Over, by Carl Mautz.

A special Thank You to my friend Carl Mautz for the use of his watch collages in this blog post. The feature image is his Swimming For Time.

At present, it is already the beginning of August 2022. More than two third of the year 2022 is already past by. When and how did that happen? Time goes by so fast that it feels surreal. Is there a brake pedal on this ride?!

One reason I love to travel so much is that it slows down time. Taken out of our routines and patterns by the new and unusual we sink deeper into our curiosity and our experience of our present moment.

At times I even prescribe “travel therapy” for myself and my clients. For myself it helps with boredom, confusion, heartbreaks, and even grief, anxiety, and depression. Being out in the world reminds me to look up and see what an incredible and unique gift life is.

Dalia taking time out in Grand Tetons National Park.

I recently got to take a travel time out. In these last few years of the pandemic, I found myself working a lot, as the need was so high, the stress intense and many needing help. But as I felt myself getting burned out, I knew I needed some mountain medicine. I went on a camping/hiking journey in the Grand Tetons National Park. Breathing that mountain air, watching nature unfold, meeting bears, moose and herds of elks reminded me how important it is to allow time to slow down, and to connect with myself. I came back to my office rejuvenated and more hopeful.

Taking some time out to attend to what we deeply long for, be it alone time, family time, nature, or a meditation retreat is essential to our well being and mental health. Please take some good care of yourself as we all need time out.

Cycles of Time, by Carl Mautz.
Cycles of Time, by Carl Mautz

And speaking of time passing, finally, after a long absence and a few cancellations due to the pandemic we were able to have an in person Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop here in Nevada City, California last month.

It was like watching a miracle over the weekend as couples broke down their walls, took the risk of deepening vulnerably, opened to each other and created new pathways for connection, communication, and secure attachment bonding.

During the closing ritual of our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, the transformation in the room was so present and powerful. Once again, I am awe struck with immense gratitude for Dr. Sue Johnson who embarked on this journey of figuring out the obstacles to secure attachments and how to form long lasting bonding connections with our loved ones.

Nov. 19 & 20th, ’22 Hold Me Tight® Workshop in Nevada City, CA.
We Invite and Welcome all Couples! We keep our workshops small to ensure privacy, safety, and personal attention. Spaces are very limited.
Read about or register here.

Our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops are an intimate and safe place where couples can find the opportunity to open up to each other in a vulnerable way about the changes they long for in their relationship.

In these Workshops, you can:
• Forgive old injuries and heal wounds of abandonment, rejection, and betrayal.
• Access the underlying emotions in the negative cycle you get caught in over and over. 
• Revisit past events that have become unresolved issues, and create change events.
• Talk about sex, intimacy, and what is blocking you from living your full sexual potential.
• Create rituals and talk about how to maintain the breakthroughs of the weekend.

Workshop Participants are saying…

Fantastic workshop. Great blend of genuine facilitation and 1:1 time.  Deep knowledge and guidance conveyed simply and accessibly.  Loved the depth of content, the clips, the binder, the small group, the balance between facilitation and couple work, also very thoughtful to have time with the facilitators.

Thank you Dalia and Owen, you pushed us to go deep, we trusted, and we gained so much understanding of one another that will greatly benefit and enhance the growth of our relationship and love.

You can also contact me via the direct email link below.
Looking forward to hearing from you,

~Dalia

P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM


Facebook | HOLD ME TIGHT® WORKSHOPS

Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops

Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop
 Nevada City, California, January 29-30, 2022
We Invite and Welcome all Couples!

Dear readers, colleagues, and friends,

Many of you have been asking and waiting for our Hold Me Tight® couples workshops to reopen. Well, our first is finally here (and in person).

The pandemic has been a long time of uncertainty, fear, isolation, shut down, and other struggles. Many of you have written to us about our Connection in time of Isolation webinar and have shared how helpful it was during the lock down to have new ways to connect and communicate with your partners.

Man and woman connecting.

I am excited to announce that Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator, co-founder of EVRYMAN, and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, will once again be co-leading the workshop with me. (Owen’s TEDX talk: What 10,000 Years Of Progress Has Cost.)

Owen brings with him the width of decades of leading and facilitating men’s group all over the country, helping men access their masculine vulnerability.  Owen’s presence, and his work with couples and men, will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight workshop. Owen has co-founded, and been intensely involved in EVRYMAN,  reaching men all over the world, helping them to access and connect with their deep emotions and vulnerability.

In this Hold Me Tight® couples workshop you will benefit from combining over two decades of my work helping couples to understand and undo the repeated overwhelming negative cycles in their relationships, and Owen Marcus’s decades of understanding, leading, and teaching men how to connect.

Merging the work of adult attachment, researched and modeled in Emotional Focused Therapy, with Owen’s incredible work of helping men to get in touch with themselves and their loved ones allows the potential of deep shifts and lasting change.

This 2-day workshop, gave us more tools and connection then many months of therapy. It allowed my partner and I to open up more directly and deepen our honesty and our intimacy. We were able to witness each other in ways that we didn’t realize were needed or possible. A must for your relationship. Highly recommend.

Recent Participant
Couple reconnecting in nature.

Hold Me Tight® Relationship Workshop

Have you been having a hard time in your relationship? Have you felt isolated, lonely, disconnected?

Are you longing for CONNECTION, better communication , romance, and  INTIMACY?

BUT instead you:
• Have recurring fights without resolution..
• Lack affection, intimacy or sex..
• Feel alone, lonely, or betrayed..

Do You want to feel more closeness, understanding, and engagement?

Or, are you looking for a beautiful time to enhance your connection and highlight the strengths of your relationship by going deeper and building on the positive foundation that already exist?

This is a great opportunity to have a deeper, intimate, and vulnerable look at your relationship, and develop new emotional, physical, and sexual closeness.

In this workshop you can:

• Forgive old injuries, and heal wounds of abandonment, rejection, and betrayal.
• Access the underlying emotions in the negative cycle you get caught in, over and over. 
• Revisit past events that have become unresolved issues, and create change events.
• Talk about sex, intimacy, and what is blocking you from living your full sexual potential.
• Create rituals and talk about how to maintain the breakthroughs of the weekend.

With the workshop’s strong, safe, well designed, and practiced structure, you will be able to open up to your partner and to your relationship. Together you two will explore and understand the barriers to the love, care, intimacy, and sexual sacredness that you once shared and both long for.

What is included in the workshop?

• A workbook full of information, education, guidance, and helpful exercises.
• Engaging presentations, video demonstrations of other real life couples, communication and experiential exercises, and the opportunity for many private exercises and conversations with your partner.
• Owen and Dalia will be available to give you personal time, support, and guidance as needed throughout the weekend.
• An amazing opportunity to take a ‘time-out’ of your rushed life, for your sacred intimacy!!!
• We provide continental breakfast, coffee, fruit, tea and healthy light snacks throughout the day.

What’s not included.
• Lunch is on your own. Please feel free to bring your own snacks and drinks as well (We are located in Grass Valley near cafes, restaurant and delis).
• Accommodation is not included in the cost of the weekend, but some couples find it a unique opportunity to make the weekend into a retreat. There are a lot of sweet unique Airbnb’s and hotels in our beautiful town. We will be happy to share some suggestions with you.

We keep our workshops small to ensure privacy, safety, and personal attention.
Spaces are very limited. Click here for more information and registration

You can also contact me via the direct email link below.
Looking forward to hearing from you,

Dalia


P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM


Facebook | HOLD ME TIGHT® WORKSHOPS

Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson, founder and originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy.

Walking the walk in darkness

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops, Individual Therapy

To My Dearest Readers,

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry in The Little Prince

This week, I was honored to officiate the marriage of a couple whom I have worked with in my therapy practice. I helped a couple in the midst of a breakdown move to a breakthrough. I sat with a couple who dealt with a relapse after years of sobriety, and I held space for a couple who decided to transform their decades long marriage from a romantic pair bond relationship to one of co-parenting and friendship after a long process of therapy. It was not an easy week, and yet, so deep in my heart, I feel the call, the vision, the hope of connection. (Sometimes my clients say I am a hope junky.)

I would not have been able to do all this amazing work that has me feeling so honored, without coming across the work of Dr. Sue Johnson, and becoming an Emotionally Focused Therapist. Those of you who know my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist, know that when I met Dr. Sue Johnson more than 10 years ago, my professional life changed direction. And honestly, so did my own life. You can not fully separate your life as a psychotherapist from your life as a partner, a mother, a friend, and a community member. With this in mind, it’s up to therapists to walk the talk.

At the time, I was already a seasoned psychotherapist using a mix of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Ericksonian hypnotherapy, EMDR, and quite a few others. However, when it came to couples therapy though, I felt that much more was possible. Couples therapy felt complex, it didn’t play by the same rules, and at times I felt lost.

When I met Dr. Sue Johnson at the Psychotherapy NetWorker professional conferences, I knew I had found an answer to my search about how to be more effective in couples therapy. Following her around the conference and listening to every presentations I could, I felt that for the first time I understood what was behind relationship and how to break the code of what was happening in my therapy office. What Sue calls Cracking the Code of Love became clear in how couples in my therapy practice were going through the dance of relationships, protesting, fighting, longing to be heard, seen, and loved.

After more than a decade of training with Sue Johnson and many others in the field of emotionally focused therapy and attachment therapy, the path to healing for couples feels clear to me.

helping others

In her recent blog, A meditation on vulnerability, survival, and comfort when there is no escape, Sue shares her deep vulnerability around her recent medical emergency, and the possibility of loosing her eye sight. Today is her surgery and I am finding myself in gratitude, meditation and prayer, for her recovery and well being. I admire her vulnerability, transparency about her fears, her walk with darkness, and her recognition of the need we all have for connection.

Sue, you have thought me to see my couples, to understand how they get caught in their negative cycle, in their perpetual dance. You have helped so many couples to see each other, to see the panic behind the fight, and to translate their partner’s anger and frustration into the fear of disconnection and the longing to connect.

In her blog, Sue’s shares that although there are many forms of meditation, coping, and other survival skills to deal with trauma, illness, shocks, and loss, the deepest sense and help in times of needs is the loving touch of another.

For me, as an attachment theorist and researcher, all these threads tie into and reflect the most basic biological survival code of all: being with another who is present and loving. To be rocked in the arms of a loved one, to feel a loving hand on your face, to hear a soft voice telling you that you are precious and are not alone. This is what our nervous system longs for; This takes us beyond fear and loss. And maybe this is what poets meant when they’ve said, ‘Love is not everything. It’s the ONLY thing.’

Walking the walk, and not just talking the talk, has at times been a challenge for me as a therapist. Over the years, I’ve heard myself saying things to my kids, partners, or friends, when I hear the voice in my head saying , “did you hear that?” As in, “what if my clients heard me?” In my work, I do not try to be perfect, but I strive as hard as I can to be authentic and real.

It is simpler to know and teach this work. It is when you are seeing yourself get caught in the negative cycle and the dance of fight-flight-blame-shame-shutdown-repeat, that true transformation of oneself as a therapist happens. When you’re really ‘becoming’, and ‘walking your talk’.

When in her blog, Sue Johnson shares the intimacy of her fear in this hard and scary moment and what it is to walk the walk in darkness, we understand how the true sense of intimacy is INTO ME I SEE – INTO ME YOU SEE.

To all of you, my readers, I am sorry for not writing my blog in the consistency I am committed to. We have all had a hard and surreal year, a time no one could have ever predicted, a journey without a map.

Our HOLD ME TIGHT® WORKSHOPS will be resuming soon. I will let you all know ASAP once we know dates, location, and protocol.

I send you much love,

Yours,

~Dalia


P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM


Facebook | HOLD ME TIGHT® WORKSHOPS

Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson, founder and originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy.