Dalia Anderman, LMFT

Emotional Focus Therapy

Connection

For You to be Right, I don’t have to be Wrong

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops

Around the time I entered graduate school for psychotherapy (later in life: for the first part of my professional life, I was a park ranger leading treks into the wilderness), I had become interested in relationships and couple’s therapy.

Was it growing up in a dysfunctional family or in a part of the world torn by conflict (born and raised in Israel)? Or was it because I botched my first marriage and no amount of therapy helped?

Maybe it was all of it combined with a deep sense that there must be a way out of conflict beyond war and breakup that fed my curiosity and determination to find answers. Through the years, I came to see that all relational conflict as a protest to feeling disconnection from a loved one, and most fights are a longing to be connected, safe, seen, and heard.

It’s true that for you to be right, your partner does not need to be wrong, but to access that truth in the moment, we need to be able to communicate, connect, and talk about it. We need to find ways to invite our partner into connection before we get pulled into the Right/Wrong, Shame/Blame, negative dance.

Distressed relationships are always the same all over the world at every age. Where are you? Where are you? Do you care about me? Do I matter to you? Will you respond to me? Will you be there when I’m vulnerable? Am I safe with you? Where are you? Where are you? And when the answer is, “I’m here,” you can deal with almost anything.

Dr. Sue Johnson
>>> Listen to Dr. Sue Johnson interviewed (quoted above).

A beloved mentor of mine once told me that relationships are made up of two words: “Relation” and “Ship” which translate to “How are we relating and where is this ship going.”

As a couple, we must make sure that we are giving time to both aspects of our relationship. We need to ensure that our “relation” includes time with each other, good communication, vulnerable sharing, transparency, authenticity, affection, intimacy, and so much more.

For the second half, we also need to be vigilant with our rituals of checking in about the direction we are going or where we are “steering the ship.” This might include making adjustments around being aware of safety, direction, shared visions, and co-facilitating.

Like so much else in our lives, our relation-ship needs constant maintenance. We must give it attention and care so it will continue to thrive. For some couples it may look like a weekly date night, just the two of you going away for a weekend alone, or maintaining a regular practice of listening to audio books, podcasts, or seminars about relationships.

Conflict & Disconnection

All couples face periods of conflict and disconnection, and at times ask the question, “What happened to our relationship?” It is not uncommon for partners to feel stuck and unable to communicate effectively or resolve conflicts, sometimes even for years. These negative patterns can strain the relationship to its breaking point.

Research reveals that Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, can significantly improve distressed relationships.

>>> Listen to Dr. Sue Johnson interviewed (quoted below).

If you dance with somebody, they’re going to step on your feet. They’re going to go left when you expect them to go right. It’s just the way it is. The point is, in a good relationship, you can recognize what’s happened and you can tune in and you can repair it. It’s emotional responsiveness. That’s the basis of a secure bond. Emotional isolation is traumatizing for human beings. You’re not wired for it. It’s a danger cue for your nervous system.

Dr. Sue Johnson

As a couple therapist, I have found Sue’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to be the most effective, profound, exact, and helpful approach for couples to find their way back to connection. I am so sad to have lost her (announcement below), and am committed to carrying forth her life’s work.

It is with profound sadness that we announce the passing of Dr. Sue Johnson on April 23, 2024. Dr. Johnson was a beloved teacher, therapist, author, and the pioneering innovator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Her remarkable contributions have left an indelible mark on the field of therapy and the lives of countless individuals, couples, and families worldwide.
Read more

Hold Me Tight® Couple Workshops 2.0

For over a decade I have been offering our Hold Me Tight® Couple Workshops here in Nevada City, California. Hundreds of couples have found new ways to reconnect and reignite their relationships.

Many of you, over the years, have asked me if we will ever offer a Hold Me Tight® Couples workshop 2.0 and I am excited about our new edge in couples work, our Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat in Costa Rica at the Imiloa Institute (Feb 11-16, 2025).

We invite you and your partner, to reignite your relationship, in the midst of the lush jungle and magnificent beauty of Costa Rica. Come join us with the toucans, sloths, monkeys, and butterflies and your partner in Costa Rica for a Special surprise celebration of Valentine’s Day, 2025 ♥️♥️♥️.

Retreat includes:

  • Accommodations – five nights and six days of accommodation at Imiloa Eco-luxury Retreat Center.
  • Charter Flight from SJO (San Jose, Costa Rica) to a small airport close to the retreat center.
  • Plant-based, organic, locally sourced, gourmet meals created by a 5-star master chef.
  • A campus fully devoted to our retreat, tucked in the Costa Rica jungle.
  • IMILOA Shuttle Service all-inclusive luxury SUV ground transportation.
  • Access to a private waterfall, miles of nature paths, incredible flora and fauna, and an ocean view infinity pool.
  • Yoga classes thought by the local instructors.
  • Access to an online resource library.
  • A workbook full with conversations and communication exercises, a skill building toolkit, and much more.
  • Special excursions & magical surprises.

A New Chapter in your Relationship

During this couples retreat you and your partner will benefit from over two decades of my work as a couples therapist utilizing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and leading Hold Me Tight® Couples workshops in understanding the patterns of attachment in the dance of relationship.

You will also benefit from Owen Marcus’ decades of experience working with men’s emotional intelligence, as well as his understanding and unique lens detailed in his book Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence and TEDxTalk presentation on Masculine Emotional Intelligence. Owen specializes in guiding men to embrace vulnerability. His expertise extends to working with couples and he has shared his methods with diverse audiences including therapists, NGOs, and major tech firms like Google. Owen’s deep experience and innovative approach, honed through co-founding EVRYMAN and now co-leading his latest venture MELD, promise to significantly enrich the dynamics of this workshop.

At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat, you will learn how to:

  • Move out of negative cycles that keep you feeling stuck and alone.
  • Make sense of your own, as well as your partner’s, emotions.
  • Forgive injuries that keep you from really opening up to your partner.
  • Communicate your emotional needs for connection where there has been abandonment and betrayal.

During and after our retreat you will be able to:

  • Establish a secure and intimate bond with one another.
  • Restore commitment and hope.
  • Decrease conflict, isolation, distance, and loneliness.
  • Learn to manage intense and negative emotion.
  • Rebuild safety and trust.
  • Find a way back to the passion, sexual connection, and intimacy you once shared.

We are happy to answer any questions you might have about our Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat during a free consultation. Please fill out our brief questionnaire to ensure we tailor this consultation to your needs and help us make the most of our 30-minute session together.

register here

Our Workshops Are Open to ALL Couples.
Please share this page with anyone you think will benefit from our work.

Responses from our last Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop.

Though I love my husband dearly, I’d given up trying to repair and restore our relationship and marriage. I’d filed for divorce. As a last ditch effort, I agreed to attend Dalia’s and Owen’s Hold Me Tight workshop. I was skeptical that this would work. But, it did! Without publicly airing our dirty laundry, we learned to listen to each other. Where I’d felt my emotional pain was unheard and unvalidated, I now felt the longed-for connections begin to establish themselves. We have a lot of work ahead, but the workshop has provided a solid foundation and framework to continue the hard work required to heal and restore our commitment to each other. The results of our work during those two days were enough for me to decide to dismiss my divorce proceedings. If you have any desire to save your relationship, I highly recommend Dalia’s and Owen’s Hold Me Tight workshop!

Ramona H

My spouse and I had the opportunity to participate in a recent “Hold Me Tight” retreat with Dalia. I was apprehensive at first as we were referred to the program by a therapist. I am so glad we went. Dalia and her co-facilitators instantly made us feel comfortable. Being with 9 other couples helped me realize that my marriage isn’t broken and we aren’t doing this all wrong. It helped me realize that there are other people also wondering how to be better; how to communicate in a way that is healthy and sustainable for both of us. My spouse and I plan to revisit and attend another retreat in a couple of years because we got so much out of it. I am confident that moving forward he and I will have an easier time communicating our needs to one another, listening to the underlying messages, and ultimately caring for and loving each other for many years to come. Thank you Dalia, Owen, and Stephanie for being real, honest, and experts in the field of love and marriage. We are so thankful.

Darby G

In gratitude and love to all of you,
~Dalia

P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM


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Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson, founder and originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy.

Keeping Resolutions in the New Year.

Couples Intensive, Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops, Individual Therapy

Dear Readers

This blog post started few month ago in November when I usually write my “how to survive the holidays” post. In these last few months, I have sat with many couples in therapy and talked about the coming holiday stress and about how to manage, cope, survive, and thrive in the holiday season. For many holidays can be a hard time.

Winter scene of falling snow, decorated Christmas trees and many footprints on a path around a condo building.

They can be a time of painful memories: Our first holiday without mom or dad, our first Christmas tree decorated alone, or even our first holiday season without our partner.

New couples may want or need to split their time between two families of origin. This can lead to driving, packing, making food, and wrapping presents in a stressful frenzy in an attempt to not hurt or disappoint anyone’s feelings.

While families can be a source of great strength, connection, love, and caring, they can also be a reminder of violence, neglect, abuse, and disconnection. Around the holidays, many people experience P. T. S. D. (posttraumatic stress disorder) with flashbacks of times in their past when the holidays were a time of dread, addiction, and dysfunction.

And with all of that, at times we can be lonely even when we are not alone, feeling that all those around us are cheerful and content while internally wondering, “Why can’t I feel joy?”

A group or tribe of people with their hands on the trunk of a tree symbolizing belonging.

In all of this, it is important to remember that modern society is having it’s own struggle with loneliness and disconnection. NPR’s All Things Considered quotes the US Attorney Generals new report, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, saying “In the last few decades, we’ve just lived through a dramatic pace of change. We move more, we change jobs more often, we are living with technology that has profoundly changed how we interact with each other and how we talk to each other.” They also note that, “…you can feel lonely even if you have a lot of people around you, because loneliness is about the quality of your connections.”

So, what can we take away from all of this? It is more important than ever to slow down and make time to connect both with ourselves and with those we love.

Humans have lived in tribes for thousands of years shaping our biology through the shared experience of communal belonging. Living today in tribes of two or even one, it’s important to think about neighbors or friends that may not have families or others with whom to share the holidays. We can all benefit from sharing the extra space at our table and building more feelings of community and belonging.

New Years

When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.

Confucius

Another yearly blog I write during this season is about how to make and maintain New Year’s resolutions. If we engage with it, the beginning of a new year can be a time of reflection, commitment, setting intentions, and putting behind us what no longer belongs in our lives.

Sparklers with colored Christmas lights in the background at the time of New Years resolutions.

Not surprisingly, this time of year, I get a lot of inquiries about starting therapy. I try to clear my schedule toward the end of December so I can accommodate those New Year’s resolutions and new beginnings.

As we move into the new year putting our best foot forward with our new beginnings, changes, followups, resents, relationships and personal growth, it can be hard not to lose steam. Some people who struggle with drinking commit to a dry January but find it hard to maintain their wish to lead a healthier life. For others it might be to talk about the hard stuff in their relationship, or write a letter, or make a call they have been avoiding.

While January 1st is just another day on the calendar, it also represents an opportunity for change. And for me, as we move into the year and the newness fades, rituals like Jan 1st are one way to stay consistent. They mark time, create a rhythm, and help me stay focused.

We have our ordinary rituals of birthdays and anniversaries, but those only come once a year. Some couples I work with try to plan a date night every week so that they can continue to work on their relationship away from home, the kids, and chores.

Ritual can be something we learn to look forward to and committing to them can help us stay committed to our resolutions even when we get overwhelmed by the busyness of life, aren’t able to keep our promises, or struggle to see the incremental progress we are making over time. Jessie Harrold gives us some guidelines for creating rituals in their mindful.org article titled Why Rituals Matter (and How to Create Your Own).

Upcoming Couples Workshops

The wish and desire to cultivate a deep, significant, meaningful, erotic, fulfilling, romantic relationship, is part of us being alive. Keeping your love alive, your communication with your partner intimate and transparent, and your sex life juicy and vibrant can take work.

Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop – Grass Valley, CA / Spring ’24

A couple playing on a log overlooking the ocean in Costa Rica.

Costa Rica Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat – Rescheduled for Feb. 11-16, 2025
The Hold Me Tight® 6-day (5-nights) Couples Retreat at the Costa Rica Imiloa Institute offers a unique and intensive healing experience designed to move couples out of disconnection and into a place of love, understanding, and hope. It is also a time to celebrate your relationship and take time for play, joy, and intimacy.

Please do not hesitate to contact me privately by email with any questions.

Happy New Year!

In gratitude and love to all of you,
~Dalia

Happy New Years written in the sand of a beach.


P: 530-692-0680
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Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson.

Reignite Your Relationship at Our Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat in Costa Rica

Couples Intensive, Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops

Experience transformation, connection, and rejuvenation at a 6-day Couples Retreat

Those of you who know me, know how much I love to travel, and be in the world. My natural curiosity makes me eager to experience new places. You probably also know how devoted I am to my psychotherapy practice and the Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops I lead. It is like leading couples on an adventurous journey, helping their relationships move from breakdowns to breakthroughs.

Now I am inviting you to come with me and share this unique experience, combining both my passions! Our exclusive Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat will be held at the Imiloa Institute in Costa Rica.

Step into a new chapter of your relationship

Unwind, play, and reconnect with your partner amidst the lush beauty of Costa Rica, a perfect setting for rediscovering your passion, the uniqueness of your relationship, and the love you wish to share.

Imagine waking up in the jungle, hearing toucans and macaws conversing in the canopy above you, having ample time to reconnect with yourself and your partner. Dive deep into your relationship while you also explore the jungle around you and the amazing coastal beaches just a 10-minute drive down the mountain.

In the past I have led these workshops in my home town of Nevada City, California, and in other locations such as New York, Idaho, Israel, and South Africa, but I have to admit I’m very excited about this unique location. Imiloa has a magic and transformative power of its own and I can’t think of a better setting for this powerful couples retreat!

All couples face periods of conflict and disconnection

Photo by Simon Shim on Unsplash

It’s not uncommon for partners to feel stuck or unable to communicate effectively or resolve conflicts, sometimes even for years. These negative patterns can strain the relationship to its breaking point.

Research reveals that Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, can significantly improve distressed relationships.

I have written a lot on my website and in many of my blogs about the unique version of Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops and Retreats led by Owen Marcus and myself. During this couples retreat you and your partner will benefit from over two decades of my work as a couples therapist utilizing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to understand the patterns of attachment in the dance of relationship. You will also benefit from Owen Marcus’ decades of experience working with men’s emotional intelligence, as well as his understanding and unique lens which he details in his book Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence and utilizes in his work as the co-founder of EVRYMAN.

Rekindle Your Connection!

The Hold Me Tight® 6-day (5-night) Couples Retreat at the Costa Rica Imiloa Institute offers a unique and intensive healing experience designed to move couples out of disconnection and into a place of love, understanding, and hope. It is also a time to celebrate your relationship and take time for play, joy, and intimacy.

The Hold Me Tight® Workshop is designed around seven conversations detailed in the Hold Me Tight book, all of which have been shown to be essential to successful relationships. You will learn how to understand and improve your relationship with presentations by the workshop leaders, private exercises and conversations with your partner, and by watching video demonstrations of other couples.

Although the format encourages questions and comments, you do not need to speak in the group if you do not wish to. All of the dialogues with your partner will be done in private, as privacy, confidentiality and comfort are of upmost importance.

At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat, you will learn how to:

  • Move out of negative cycles that keep you feeling stuck and alone
  • Make sense of your own, as well as your partner’s, emotions
  • Forgive injuries that keep you from really opening up to your partner
  • Communicate your emotional needs for connection where there has been abandonment and betrayal

During and after our retreat you will be able to:

  • Establish a secure and intimate bond with one another
  • Restore commitment and hope
  • Decrease isolation, distance, and loneliness
  • Learn to manage intense and negative emotion
  • Rebuild safety and trust
  • Find a way back to the passion, sexual connection, and intimacy you once shared

Participants from our last Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop shared the following:

Though I love my husband dearly, I’d given up trying to repair and restore our relationship and marriage. I’d filed for divorce. As a last ditch effort, I agreed to attend Dalia’s and Owen’s Hold Me Tight workshop. I was skeptical that this would work. But, it did!

Without publicly airing our dirty laundry, we learned to listen to each other. Where I’d felt my emotional pain was unheard and unvalidated, I now felt the longed-for connections begin to establish themselves.

We have a lot of work ahead, but the workshop has provided a solid foundation and framework to continue the hard work required to heal and restore our commitment to each other. The results of our work during those two days were enough for me to decide to dismiss my divorce proceedings.

If you have any desire to save your relationship, I highly recommend Dalia’s and Owen’s Hold Me Tight workshop!

~ Ramona H

My spouse and I had the opportunity to participate in a recent “Hold Me Tight” retreat with Dalia. I was apprehensive at first as we were referred to the program by a therapist. I am so glad we went.

Dalia and her co-facilitators instantly made us feel comfortable. Being with 9 other couples helped me realize that my marriage isn’t broken and we aren’t doing this all wrong. It helped me realize that there are other people also wondering how to be better; how to communicate in a way that is healthy and sustainable for both of us.

My spouse and I plan to revisit and attend another retreat in a couple of years because we got so much out of it. I am confident that moving forward he and I will have an easier time communicating our needs to one another, listening to the underlying messages, and ultimately caring for and loving each other for many years to come.

Thank you Dalia, Owen, and Stephanie for being real, honest, and experts in the field of love and marriage. We are so thankful.

~ Darby G

The retreat includes:

  • Luxury accommodations for 6 days, 5 nights
  • Roundtrip private plane transfer from SJO airport to Imiloa’s landing strip, and all ground transportation
  • Gourmet, organic, plant-based meals
  • Fresh organic juice, coffee, and tea
  • Pool and beach experiences
  • Morning yoga
  • Time for you to reconnect, restore, and reignite your relationship
  • A workbook based on the Hold Me Tight® platform, which will be a resource during the workshop, and is full of information, guidance and helpful exercises
  • Engaging presentations, experiential exercises, video demonstrations of other real-life couples, and the opportunity for many private conversations with your partner
  • Owen and Dalia, two master therapists, will be there to teach and assist, and give you and your relationship counseling and guidance as need
  • Post-workshop complimentary follow-up support

What is not included:

  • Flights to SJO airport in Costa Rica 
  • Travel insurance (optional, but recommended)
  • Spa services
  • Extra day trips and excursions 

If you are interested in purchasing travel insurance, Imiloa has partnered with a Global Rescue, a comprehensive travel insurance program which offers “cancel for any reason” plans to maximize coverage.

For more information, we are happy to offer a free 30-minute consultation!

We are thrilled that you are considering our Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat and would be happy to answer any questions you might have during a free consultation. Please fill out our brief questionnaire to ensure we tailor this consultation to your needs and help us make the most out of our 30-minute session together.

Please do not hesitate to contact me privately by email at dalia@daliaanderman.com, or call or text my cell: 530.218.2721.

In gratitude and love to all of you,

P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM


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Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson, founder and originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy.

When it is time to say Goodbye, Let Go and Move On.

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops, Individual Therapy

Dear Reader,

Those of you who know me, both in my therapy practice and in my personal life, know how passionate, and excited I have been about Burning Man!!! This year was my 10th years on the Playa.

Dalis at BurningMan 2022 on her bike.

“Guided by the values expressed by the 10 Principles, Burning Man is a global ecosystem of artists, makers, and community organizers who co-create art, events, and local initiatives around the world. Most recognizably, tens of thousands of Burners gather annually to build Black Rock City, a participative temporary metropolis in the Nevada desert” (Burningman.org).

To me, it’s like an 80 thousand participant Kibbutz. Many of the Ten Principles of Burning Man remind me of the principles I grew up with in the Kibbutz culture of Israel. Some of these include: Radical Inclusion, Communal Efforts, Civic Responsibility, and Participation.

I also love Burning Man for it’s creativity, immense artistic expression, freedom and invitation to truly be who you are.

Dalia with a silver sculpture of two metallic tall humanoids appearing out of the air and coming together.

Years ago, after two years on the Playa as a participant and observer, I decided I wanted to give back and participate in a new way. So I started volunteering for the Black Rock City Emergency Services Department’s Crisis Intervention Team (BRC ESD CIT for short). Our nickname on the Playa is “Psyches on Bikes.”

It is hard to describe in words, or even express the feelings of how hard, challenging, hot, dusty, chaotic, and overwhelming my time in Burning Man over the last decade of participation has been. I am also without words to describe both the magic, epic, amazing connections and awe inspiring unbelievable beauty I have experienced as well.

Mid week during Burning Man 2022, when the temperatures soared to 108 F, and dust storms were creating a new level of whiteout, I was on my bike headed for a CIT call when I suddenly had that clarity, pit in my stomach sadness, grief, and relief, knowing that my time at Burning Man had come to an end. I was hot and exhausted, so I let the feelings go, waiting to see how they would settle out. But as the week progressed, ending on another epic note of “burning the man,” I felt complete, and I felt, “it is time to say goodbye, move on, and let go.”

Sunset at BurningMan 2022

My friends, colleagues, clients, and family inform me that I say that every year in September; And that when the CIT call for who is “In or Out” for the coming year arrives in February, I hear the call inside of me to say yes. But to me, this time feels different…We shall see.

In my 2015 blog, What do Burning Man, Psychs on Bikes, and Hold Me Tight® have in common?, (And why am I so compelled by both?), I explained how there are a lot of parallels for me between my work as a couples therapist, my Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops and my time on the Playa volunteering for “Psyches on Bikes”.

This year on the Playa, there was an immense art installation (sculpture) called LOVE, and it answered the question of ‘why am I so compelled’ by both; the work I do at Burning Man, and the work I do at home with my couples counseling and psychotherapy, and the Hold Me Tight® couples workshops retreats, I hold a few times a year, here in Nevada City, CA.

This art installation piece called LOVE is a sculpture by Ukraine artist Alexandr Milov. It demonstrates a conflict between a man and a woman as well as the outer and inner expression of human nature. The figures of the protagonists are made in the form of big metal cages, where their inner selves are captivated. Their inner selves are executed in the form of transparent children, who are holding out their hands through the grating to each other.

Love by Alexandr Milov

Those two wire frames of two adults sitting back to back, with their heads in their hands in disagreement with one another, while their ‘inner selves’ lit up inside of them reaching out to connect with the other person, is a representation of our relationships.

In this powerful image we can see in huge dimension the inner conflicts of relationship. While the two adult figures (in the form of big metal cages!), turning away in sorrow from each other, the inner selves are longing for the connection. In many cases, art can show us concepts that are hard to put into words, and this piece is a prime example of how very deep ideas can be conveyed without speaking. What an amazing symbol and depiction of the work I do with my couples in the office and in my workshops.

We all fear that if we show our deep real primary emotions and talk about our hurts and needs, we will be looked at as weak, we will be dismissed or ridiculed, or worst of all, we will be abandoned and rejected by the person we turned to. That’s why it may feel safer to “close ourselves in metal cages” and turn away.

When we are in conflict with our loved one, we turn away from each other in panic, hurt, rage, anger, and pain. We do not know how to reach out and be vulnerable with each other, but there is another part of us, that inner self, that is longing for connection.

In our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops, we hold an intimate and safe place, where couples can find the opportunity to turn toward each other, open up in a vulnerable way, share their longing for connection, and talk about the changes they long for in their relationship.

Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops flyer.

What you and your partner will learn and experience:
• Affirm strengths in your relationship through understanding and bonding.
• Address negative cycles/patterns, learning why they show up and how to get out of them.
• Repair and forgive injuries, and how to become vulnerable with each other.
• Enhance your emotional and physical intimacy and sexual closeness.

>>> Read more about the workshop in my previous post from earlier this year: Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat.

I am also excited to announce that Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator, co-founder of Evryman, and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, will once again be assisting me in leading the workshop.

Owen brings with him decades of experience leading and facilitating men’s groups all over the country and helping men access their masculine vulnerability. Owen has been intensely involved in his new company Evryman, reaching men all over the world and helping them access and connect with their deep emotions and vulnerability. Owen’s presence and work with couples and men will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop.

We Welcome All Couples!!!
For more information, and to register please go to: http://daliaanderman.com/workshops/
We keep our workshops small to ensure privacy, safety, and personal attention.
Spaces are very limited.

Please Forward this information to anyone you think will benefit from this work, and please call or email me with any questions or for more information.

With love and gratitude,

~Dalia

Dalia Anderman at BurningMan 2022


P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM


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Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson.

Are we there yet? Taking time out.

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops, Individual Therapy

Dear Reader,

Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.

Marcus Aurelius

When I was younger, I remember we use to have calendars where you ripped off a page every day. Even then I remember being fascinated with how time went by; I looked forward to tearing off yesterday’s page and looked forward to what the next page/day looked like. I also remember that time stretched out, and moved slowly. Now it seems that those same days are going by ever so fast, and that my unit of time is more a month, rather than a day.

When Time Took Over, by Carl Mautz.
When Time Took Over, by Carl Mautz.

A special Thank You to my friend Carl Mautz for the use of his watch collages in this blog post. The feature image is his Swimming For Time.

At present, it is already the beginning of August 2022. More than two third of the year 2022 is already past by. When and how did that happen? Time goes by so fast that it feels surreal. Is there a brake pedal on this ride?!

One reason I love to travel so much is that it slows down time. Taken out of our routines and patterns by the new and unusual we sink deeper into our curiosity and our experience of our present moment.

At times I even prescribe “travel therapy” for myself and my clients. For myself it helps with boredom, confusion, heartbreaks, and even grief, anxiety, and depression. Being out in the world reminds me to look up and see what an incredible and unique gift life is.

Dalia taking time out in Grand Tetons National Park.

I recently got to take a travel time out. In these last few years of the pandemic, I found myself working a lot, as the need was so high, the stress intense and many needing help. But as I felt myself getting burned out, I knew I needed some mountain medicine. I went on a camping/hiking journey in the Grand Tetons National Park. Breathing that mountain air, watching nature unfold, meeting bears, moose and herds of elks reminded me how important it is to allow time to slow down, and to connect with myself. I came back to my office rejuvenated and more hopeful.

Taking some time out to attend to what we deeply long for, be it alone time, family time, nature, or a meditation retreat is essential to our well being and mental health. Please take some good care of yourself as we all need time out.

Cycles of Time, by Carl Mautz.
Cycles of Time, by Carl Mautz

And speaking of time passing, finally, after a long absence and a few cancellations due to the pandemic we were able to have an in person Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop here in Nevada City, California last month.

It was like watching a miracle over the weekend as couples broke down their walls, took the risk of deepening vulnerably, opened to each other and created new pathways for connection, communication, and secure attachment bonding.

During the closing ritual of our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, the transformation in the room was so present and powerful. Once again, I am awe struck with immense gratitude for Dr. Sue Johnson who embarked on this journey of figuring out the obstacles to secure attachments and how to form long lasting bonding connections with our loved ones.

Nov. 19 & 20th, ’22 Hold Me Tight® Workshop in Nevada City, CA.
We Invite and Welcome all Couples! We keep our workshops small to ensure privacy, safety, and personal attention. Spaces are very limited.
Read about or register here.

Our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops are an intimate and safe place where couples can find the opportunity to open up to each other in a vulnerable way about the changes they long for in their relationship.

In these Workshops, you can:
• Forgive old injuries and heal wounds of abandonment, rejection, and betrayal.
• Access the underlying emotions in the negative cycle you get caught in over and over. 
• Revisit past events that have become unresolved issues, and create change events.
• Talk about sex, intimacy, and what is blocking you from living your full sexual potential.
• Create rituals and talk about how to maintain the breakthroughs of the weekend.

Workshop Participants are saying…

Fantastic workshop. Great blend of genuine facilitation and 1:1 time.  Deep knowledge and guidance conveyed simply and accessibly.  Loved the depth of content, the clips, the binder, the small group, the balance between facilitation and couple work, also very thoughtful to have time with the facilitators.

Thank you Dalia and Owen, you pushed us to go deep, we trusted, and we gained so much understanding of one another that will greatly benefit and enhance the growth of our relationship and love.

You can also contact me via the direct email link below.
Looking forward to hearing from you,

~Dalia

P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM


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Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat

Couples Therapy, Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT), Hold Me Tight® Workshops

Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop
 Nevada City, California, January 29-30, 2022
We Invite and Welcome all Couples!

Dear readers, colleagues, and friends,

Many of you have been asking and waiting for our Hold Me Tight® couples workshops to reopen. Well, our first is finally here (and in person).

The pandemic has been a long time of uncertainty, fear, isolation, shut down, and other struggles. Many of you have written to us about our Connection in time of Isolation webinar and have shared how helpful it was during the lock down to have new ways to connect and communicate with your partners.

Man and woman connecting.

I am excited to announce that Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator, co-founder of EVRYMAN, and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, will once again be co-leading the workshop with me. (Owen’s TEDX talk: What 10,000 Years Of Progress Has Cost.)

Owen brings with him the width of decades of leading and facilitating men’s group all over the country, helping men access their masculine vulnerability.  Owen’s presence, and his work with couples and men, will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight workshop. Owen has co-founded, and been intensely involved in EVRYMAN,  reaching men all over the world, helping them to access and connect with their deep emotions and vulnerability.

In this Hold Me Tight® couples workshop you will benefit from combining over two decades of my work helping couples to understand and undo the repeated overwhelming negative cycles in their relationships, and Owen Marcus’s decades of understanding, leading, and teaching men how to connect.

Merging the work of adult attachment, researched and modeled in Emotional Focused Therapy, with Owen’s incredible work of helping men to get in touch with themselves and their loved ones allows the potential of deep shifts and lasting change.

This 2-day workshop, gave us more tools and connection then many months of therapy. It allowed my partner and I to open up more directly and deepen our honesty and our intimacy. We were able to witness each other in ways that we didn’t realize were needed or possible. A must for your relationship. Highly recommend.

Recent Participant
Couple reconnecting in nature.

Hold Me Tight® Relationship Workshop

Have you been having a hard time in your relationship? Have you felt isolated, lonely, disconnected?

Are you longing for CONNECTION, better communication , romance, and  INTIMACY?

BUT instead you:
• Have recurring fights without resolution..
• Lack affection, intimacy or sex..
• Feel alone, lonely, or betrayed..

Do You want to feel more closeness, understanding, and engagement?

Or, are you looking for a beautiful time to enhance your connection and highlight the strengths of your relationship by going deeper and building on the positive foundation that already exist?

This is a great opportunity to have a deeper, intimate, and vulnerable look at your relationship, and develop new emotional, physical, and sexual closeness.

In this workshop you can:

• Forgive old injuries, and heal wounds of abandonment, rejection, and betrayal.
• Access the underlying emotions in the negative cycle you get caught in, over and over. 
• Revisit past events that have become unresolved issues, and create change events.
• Talk about sex, intimacy, and what is blocking you from living your full sexual potential.
• Create rituals and talk about how to maintain the breakthroughs of the weekend.

With the workshop’s strong, safe, well designed, and practiced structure, you will be able to open up to your partner and to your relationship. Together you two will explore and understand the barriers to the love, care, intimacy, and sexual sacredness that you once shared and both long for.

What is included in the workshop?

• A workbook full of information, education, guidance, and helpful exercises.
• Engaging presentations, video demonstrations of other real life couples, communication and experiential exercises, and the opportunity for many private exercises and conversations with your partner.
• Owen and Dalia will be available to give you personal time, support, and guidance as needed throughout the weekend.
• An amazing opportunity to take a ‘time-out’ of your rushed life, for your sacred intimacy!!!
• We provide continental breakfast, coffee, fruit, tea and healthy light snacks throughout the day.

What’s not included.
• Lunch is on your own. Please feel free to bring your own snacks and drinks as well (We are located in Grass Valley near cafes, restaurant and delis).
• Accommodation is not included in the cost of the weekend, but some couples find it a unique opportunity to make the weekend into a retreat. There are a lot of sweet unique Airbnb’s and hotels in our beautiful town. We will be happy to share some suggestions with you.

We keep our workshops small to ensure privacy, safety, and personal attention.
Spaces are very limited. Click here for more information and registration

You can also contact me via the direct email link below.
Looking forward to hearing from you,

Dalia


P: 530-692-0680
DIRECT EMAIL, or via
CONTACT FORM


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Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson, founder and originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy.